Who Made That Child the Villain?

A kid has one rough week and suddenly the whole building “knows how they are.” That’s not insight, that’s a storyline. We start by borrowing a concept from reality TV: the villain edit. When adults stitch together a few moments and turn them into a child’s identity, we stop teaching skills and start managing reputations. I unpack why labels like “bad,” “aggressive,” “defiant,” or “too much” can be a quiet form of bias in early childhood education, especially for Black children and Black girls, and I share a simple reset: describe behavior, not character. 

Then we shift into a hard news story out of Pennsylvania involving allegations against an assistant director, a reported 45-minute timeout, and deleted surveillance footage. That combination raises uncomfortable ECE leadership questions about accountability, supervision, child discipline, and whether long tenure has become unofficial immunity. Cameras do not create safety on their own. Systems do: access rules, retention policies, audit trails, and a culture where staff can report concerns without getting punished for speaking up. 

From there, we get into professionalism where it actually counts: judgment, ethics, reliability, coaching, and communication. We talk dress codes and the Tuskegee debate, at-will childcare employment and why firing can feel random, and the policy phrase “other duties as assigned” and how it should be used responsibly. If you lead a childcare center, supervise staff, or want a healthier program culture, this one will give you concrete questions to take to your next staff meeting. Subscribe, share with a colleague, and leave a review with the leadership challenge you’re taking back to your program.

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Transcript

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The Villain Edit In Preschool

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome to Stumbling Through Work where educators figure shit out. I'm your host, Dr. Jared Cuff, and this is the place where we try to make sense of the good, confusing, and completely unnecessary. One workday at a time. Let's get into it. Hey team, welcome to another episode of Stumbling Through Work where educators figure shit out. Today we have a really good episode. Today, um, I'm saying that it's good because it starts off a little different. It's starting off with reality TV. Now, I know you're like, wait, but what? Just just just just ride this out with me. So the grill recently discussed how black reality TV contestants are treated when they become the so-called villain. It started with Love Island and it just kind of continued on through other productions and shows. Now, let me just say that I have never watched The Love of the Island. That's more of a young person's game, but I have watched my fair share of reality shows. And what they did is they pointed out, you know, the racism, the online backlash, the memes, the public perception, and whether the contestants, specifically the black contestants, receive harsher judgment for the same behavior as everybody else. So that actually made me think of ECE. Because reality television has producers creating storylines, but sometimes classrooms do the exact same thing. Except instead of, you know, she's the villain this season, we'll say, you know, he's bad, she's aggressive, he's always doing something, she's sassy, he's a handful, she's always got an attitude. So congratulations. You have now just produced season three of Real Toddlers of Preschool County. Here's how reality television works. Hundreds of hours of footage happen. Many hundreds of hours, lots of them. But somebody, producers, decide what you get to see, what you and I get to see on the TV screen. So certain moments are emphasized, certain reactions get replayed, you know, they add music on top of it, then suddenly, bum bum bum, we have a villain. But the audience doesn't see everything, we only see the edits, and so classrooms do the exact same thing, they create edits too. A child has a difficult Monday, he hits another child on Tuesday, he knocks over somebody's blocks on Wednesday, then by Thursday, that's just Jaden. You know how Jaden is. No, I don't know how Jaden is. I know three things Jaden did. Those are not the same statement. Because, see, here's where bias becomes dangerous. Once adults create a narrative about a child, we start looking for evidence that confirms that narrative. Jaden grabs a toy, see, see, see, see, that's what I'm talking about. Jaden cries, here we go again. Jaden gets frustrated. See, now that's what I'm talking about right there. Jaden walks into the classroom Monday morning like, let's have a good day today, Jaden. Like, damn, ma'am, he just got here. He hasn't even taken his backpack off, but we're already reviewing last season. Now, I'm about to put my Doctor of Education hat on. Bias doesn't always sound explicitly racist. Sometimes, bias sounds perfectly normal. You know, words like aggressive, defiant, disrespectful, sassy, difficult, disruptive, intimidating, too much. And we need to ask who gets those labels and for what behaviors? And would we describe another child the same way? See, this becomes particularly important when we're talking about children, specifically black children, and especially the go deeper black little girls, because culturally black children are sometimes perceived as older, tougher, or more responsible for their behavior than their peers. So a black girl's confidence now becomes attitude, her frustration becomes disrespect, her independence becomes defiance, her personality becomes too much. And we know what the too much microaggression means. Too loud, too opinionated, too confident, too expressive, too black. Okay, well, well, sometimes nobody actually has to say that last part, you know, but they don't have to. Here's something I want every ECE professional to practice. Describe behavior, don't describe character. Don't tell me Jaden was bad today. Tell me during block cleanup, Jaden hit another child after being told his tower needed to be taken down. See, now we have information because bad tells me nothing. What it doesn't tell me what happened, you know, what happened immediately before it, what did the child communicate, what did the adults do, what happens afterwards. See, now that's assessment. He's terrible? That's a Yelp review. And as educators, our documentation should not sound like two stars. Would you recommend difficult customer refuse nap? He's three. He doesn't need a bad review, he needs somebody to teach him. So, directors, here's your assignment. Don't just observe classrooms, listen to how adults talk to children, especially in the hallway, at lunch, during planning times, during transitions, and definitely in the break room. Cause see, because the break room will tell you your real organizational culture right there. So listen for things like, oh, that child is bad, and she's just like her mother, and he's always doing something, and she's so dramatic. You know, he knows better, she's grown. You know what? He's gonna be a problem. Stop it. Immediately stop it. Because once that language becomes normal, the expectation becomes normal, and eventually adults start interacting with the child according to the reputation instead of the behavior actually happening in front of them. That's the preschool villain edit. We have decided your character art before morning snag. So, what can Love Island and black reality television and black everything possibly teach early childhood education? More than I expected. You know, reality television reminds us that you know editing matters, narrative matters, labels matters, bias, influence, interpretation. And ECE professionals need to remember that children are not characters, they're developing human beings. A four-year-old having challenging behaviors doesn't need a villain storyline. They need observation, instruction, relationships, they need consistency, boundaries, and adults willing to examine their own bias. So here's your staff meeting question this week. What children in our program already have a reputation? And then the uncomfortable follow-up, what are we doing to reinforce it? Hmm. Because if everybody in the building already knows that Jaden is the bad kid, Jaden might not be the biggest behavior problem in that building. It's probably the adults. I said what I said, and we're gonna move on to the next topic.

Abuse Allegations And Leadership Failure

SPEAKER_00 7:39

We need to talk about a story out of Pennsylvania involving an assistant director at a childcare center. Now I need to say this up front, these are allegations. The individual has been charged, and the court process will determine guilt. But according to the reports, the assistant director had reportedly worked at Little Lamb's daycare for about 20 years and was accused of kicking, dragging, grabbing, and excessively punishing preschool age children. Police also alleged that after investigators started looking into what happened, 58 camera recordings were deleted from the surveillance system. 58. Now one, two, three, fifty-eight. At some point, deleting 58 recordings just stopped looking like, whoops, I pressed the wrong button. This isn't an act, this is a whole-on activity. This is a project that has deliverables. It's like you had a very productive day, lady, and one child was reportedly left in timeout for approximately 45 minutes. In timeout for a child, a preschooler. Now I have been in meetings with grown folks who can't handle 45 minutes without checking their phone, drinking coffee, going to the bathroom, whispering to the person beside them, or mentally leaving the whole meeting overall. But apparently, this person thought a preschool child was going to sit for 45 minutes contemplating their life choices. You know, upon reflection, I now understand that my behavior during dramatic play did not align with the core values of the school. No. That baby forgot why they were sitting there after one minute. 20 minutes, they were sitting there thinking about Paw Patrol, 30 minutes, you know, they didn't create an imaginary friend. You know, 40 minutes into it, they didn't form the whole union. So today, I want to talk about what the story says about leadership, accountability, surveillance, discipline, and the dangers of allowing tenure to become immunity. Because this story is bigger than just one assistant director, it raises a much larger question. And you guys see I have questions today. Who is watching the people we trust to watch everybody else? Never thought about that, right? So let's start with the fact that this employee reportedly had around 20 years at this center. Because ECE has a habit of hearing 20 years and immediately assuming that means excellence. She has 20 years of experience. Okay. 20 good years? 20 growing years? 20 years of continuing education, reflection, coaching, professional development? Or do we just have one year of experience and just repeated it 19 more times? Because those are two different things. We do this in childcare consistently. Brenda has been here since 2004. Wonderful. And Brenda is still yelling, stop running outside on the playground. Ma'am, where would you like for them to run? The copier room? Longevity should matter. Experience matters. Institutional knowledge matters. But time alone does not make someone competent. You can be wrong for a very long time. And people have been burning toast for generations. That does not make burnt toast best practice. And sometimes the longer someone stays in a school, in an organization, the less leadership actually supervises them. Really think about that because in some way they have become part of the furniture. Because nobody checks, nobody observes, nobody questions, you know. They, you know, they know what they're doing. They've been here forever. They trained me when I started. Okay. And you know what else has been around forever? Fax machines. We're still allowed to upgrade. The danger is that long-term employees can sometimes develop unofficial immunity. New teacher raises her voice, let's coach her. Veteran employees scream, oh, that's just Bris, that's just Miss Brenda. No. That's just how she is, is not a behavior management plan. It is not a corrective action plan. And it is definitely not a child safety strategy. Now let's talk about that reported 45-minute timeout. Because discipline in early childhood education should have one major purpose: teaching. Children are learning emotional regulation, they are learning boundaries, how to express frustration, they are learning how to interact with other people. They're learning that apparently you cannot lick the classroom window even if you feel strongly about it. This is development. So when a child behaves inappropriately, the question should be, what skills are we trying to teach? Not how miserable can I make this child so they never annoy me again. That's the difference between guidance and punishment. See, a preschooler does not need a prison sentence because they threw a block. And what we're not going to do today is start with the preschool-to-prison pipeline today. That's a whole nother conversation. So I'm just going to digress on that one. But if your response to a child's behavior is completely disconnected from the child's developmental level, then we have moved away from education. And see, at some point, the adult is no longer regulating the child. That adult needs regulation. And that is something ECE leaders, we don't talk about that enough. We spend a lot of time teaching children emotional regulation. Use your words, take deep breaths, tell your friend how you feel. Meanwhile, Ms. Brenda is five seconds away from flipping a table like Medea because somebody didn't mix up the play-doh colors. Lady, use your words, take a breath, find your calm down corner. We cannot expect four-year-olds to have more emotional control than the adult supervising them. But we do. Now let's look at let's let's get into this whole camera debacle. Cause this is some full-on time foolery chicanery. Police allege, because I just had to process that for a second. Police allege that 58 camera recordings were deleted after investigators saw footage. So that immediately makes me ask who has access to the surveillance system? Because childcare centers love telling parents and families, we have families through, we have cameras throughout the building, and families hear that and they think, great, that's accountability. Not necessarily accountability. A camera is only useful if the system around the camera is useful. Who can access footage? Who can download it? Who can delete it? How long is you know footage retained? Does the system keep an audit trail? Does more than one administrator have control? And what happens when an incident occurs? Is the footage automatically preserved? You see how I ask all of those really thoughtful questions? Or is the policy, whoever gets to the computer first controls the history? That's what it feels like. Because if the same person who could potentially be involved in an incident also has unrestricted access to delete the footage of that incident, that is not internal control. That is a plot twist. That would be like Brenda stealing someone's lunch out of the refrigerator and then asking Brenda to investigate it. Twenty minutes later, she pops up. I've completed the investigation, and Brenda has been cleared of all wrongdoing. Well, no shit. Well, where's the sandwich? Unfortunately, the evidence has been destroyed. Case close. The point is technology by itself does not create accountability. And for some reason we think that it does. Systems create accountability. You need permission, policies, retention requirements, multiple levels of access, documentation, and ideally a system where deleting footage leaves a record showing exactly who deleted it and when. Because if your camera system can lose critical footage and nobody can explain how, then you just pay thousands of dollars for decorative ceiling equipment. And let's specifically talk about this assistant director. Let's talk about assistant directors in general. Because an assistant director is often one of the most powerful people in the building. Because they tend to open the center, maybe close it, handling staff, moving teachers between classrooms, talking to families, you know, jumping in whatever needed, they'll cover a classroom real quick. And you know, occasionally they'll attempt to solve, they will try to solve every problem in the building while eating lunch standing next to the copier if you got a good one. This is not a small position. So when you promote someone into an assistant director role, you cannot just ask, are they dependable? You need to ask, do they have good judgment? Because childcare loves promoting the person who always shows up. She's never late. Wonderful! Neither is the fire alarm. That doesn't mean I wanted supervising teachers. Showing up consistently is the beginning of employment. It is not the complete definition of leadership. A leader needs emotional intelligence, ethics, decision-making skills, uh, communication skills, the ability to coach staff, um, to be able to accept feedback, and most importantly, the ability to maintain appropriate interactions with children even when the day is chaotic. Because the job is chaotic. This is not new information. Toddlers bite. Preschoolers argue, you know, families are late, teachers call out, somebody puts a Lego in a place where no Lego should ever be. And this is only on Tuesday. When something serious is alleged, we naturally focus on the person accused. But see, organizations also need to ask, what was happening around this person? Did anybody notice warning signs? Did teachers complain? Did families complain? Was the person's classroom management style known? Were there previous incidents? Was anyone conducting observations? Was there coaching, documentation? Actually, were employees afraid to even speak up because workplace culture teaches people what is tolerated. And sometimes the culture does not openly say, you know, don't report concerns, it says it quietly. And a teacher says, I'm uncomfortable with how he talks to the children, and leadership sometimes responds with, Well, he's been here forever. Message received. And or if another teacher says, I think that discipline was too harsh, and then leadership says, You know how he is. Cool, message received. I think someone should look at the cameras, and then leadership says, Let's not make this into a big thing. Alright, cool, I heard you. You do you let me know what it is. See, eventually staff learn that reporting concerns create more problems for the reporter than the behavior they're reporting. And once employees learn that, your safety system is finished. Because policies only work when people believe leadership will actually enforce them. You can have a beautiful whistleblower policy. Three paragraphs, you know, nice bold headings, initial here, signed here. But if the employee knows reporting concern means getting scheduled every closing shift for the next six weeks, your policy means nothing. The last thing I'm gonna say is that one of the most important lessons here is that physical roughness cannot become culturally acceptable. It sometimes starts small. Someone grabs a child's arm too hard, she was frustrated, someone pulls a child across the room, he wouldn't listen. Somebody screams directly in a child's face, she was overwhelmed, someone leaves a child sitting alone for an excessive amount of time, he needs he needed consequences, and each incident gets explained, then explained again, then it becomes normalized. And eventually the question becomes how did this happen? It happened because people kept explaining instead of correcting. In my opinion, sounds like somebody should have been fired from the beginning, a very long time ago, but that's just me. But I mean, stress does not remove professional responsibility. We love to justify somebody's behavior that does not stop from the consequences from happening. Being short staffed does not remove professional responsibility. Having a difficult child does not remove professional responsibility, and having worked somewhere for 20 years definitely does not remove professional responsibility. Children are supposed to be difficult sometimes. They are. That is part of our business model. If every child arrived emotionally regulated, followed directions immediately, communicated perfectly, and cleaned up without being asked, we would have far fewer jobs. ECE exists partially because children are still learning how to function in this world. The adult's job is to help them learn, not punish them for needing to learn. So if you're a director, owner, principal, administrator, anyone responsible for a childcare program, there are some things worth reviewing immediately. First, review your surveillance access. Know exactly who can view footage, export it, delete it, and modify system settings. Also, observe long-term employees too. Veterans need accountability just like new staff. Twenty years of employment should not equal a lifetime of exemption from coaching. And finally, pay attention to patterns. One complaint may need investigation. Three complaints definitely need investigation. Five people independently describing the same behavior is not drama. At some point, your staff is giving you data. Use it, and we'll be right back. Let's just be honest. Make no sense. The policies are doing backflips, and somehow, everybody is looking at you for answers. That's why I wrote The Program Leader: How to Lead, Set Goals, and Achieve Lasting Results in Your Program. This book is for directors, supervisors, coordinators, and leaders who are trying to build structure without losing their minds. We talk leadership, goal setting, systems, staff development, and how to lead with intentions, even when work is getting on your nerves. You can get your copy at abbreviatedlearning.com or just continue to do what you're doing, making no progress. Welcome back.

Dress Codes And Hidden Bias

SPEAKER_00 22:45

I told you guys we were going to have a really good show today, so if you have been on the internet in the last two weeks, you have heard about the Tuskegee University dress code debate and how they have found themselves in the middle of a national conversation about student appearance. Now the university says the goal is professional preparation, and I understand that argument, I truly do. But here's my question. And I have lots of them. Are we teaching people how to navigate professional environments or are we teaching them that professionalism requires removing parts of themselves? Because those are not the same lesson. And ECE needs to pay attention because we have been fighting this exact battle and child care center for years. So first, I'm not going to pretend a parent doesn't matter because it does. If you are an early childhood professional, you come to work clean, wear clothes, you know, you wear clothes that are appropriate for working with children, you wear shoes, you can safely move in, or you should. You should keep yourself ready to respond to emergencies. You should be following health and safety guidelines. You you look or you should look like you know that you know you were scheduled to work today. And that is reasonable. That is, you know, my expectations. Because sometimes we've taken, you know, don't judge people by their appearance, and somehow we have translated into, you know, come to work however the Lord finds you. No, we're not doing that. Professional standards exist for a reason. So in ECE, clothing can actually affect safety, right? Can you get on the floor? Can you run after a child? Can you safely lift? Are your shoes appropriate for the playground? Is you know, is your jewelry creating a hazard? Are your clothes appropriate for bodily fluids, paint, food, whatever unidentified substance is currently on the toilet room floor? Those are legitimate questions. But then we can cross a line. We move from safety, hygiene, functionality into I just don't think that looks professional. Okay. So define professional. That's where this gets interesting because everybody has a different level of professionalism. I have my own level of professionalism. What I personally think is you can find that out in the program leader if you go to abbreviatedlearning.com and get my book. You see how I did that plug-in? But, you know, I mean, I'm probably not walking into an interview wearing my pajamas either, though. But here's where I want to start asking more questions. Why are certain things immediately coded as unprofessional? Now, I know I'm about to take you on a lesson if you don't know, because for a lot of people, natural hair has been called unprofessional. Breeds have been called unprofessional, locks have been called unprofessional, afros have been called unprofessional. So black folks have heard this song before, they just keep remixing it. That's why the word professional deserves examination. Sometimes professional means competent, prepared, reliable, ethical, and sometimes professional secretly means make the people with power comfortable. And those are two different definitions. Now let's enter the child care center because ECE directors love putting dress code and an employee handbook. No leggings, no ripped jeans, no crocs, no hats, no graphic shirts, no visible tattoos, no unnatural hair colors, no long nails. At some point, I'm just like, okay, okay. And once again, I can see it both ways. But we'll dive into that because I have another question. I told y'all I have a lot of questions today. Does the policy connect to job performance? If you're telling me long nails create sanitation or safety concerns, explain it. Which is easy to do because if you have long nails, especially if you're like doing diaper changes, if you are like, let's say you're cleaning up bodily fluids, all that stuff can get under your nails, and now you're transferring that from one area to another, and next thing you know, your classroom is disgusting. Your classroom has turned into like the original site of you know some god-awful disease that we don't know. If you say certain shoes create a playground safety problem, then explain it. I mean, if your name isn't Beyonce Kelly or Michelle, I don't think you should be wearing six-inch platform heels while you're doing playground safety. I mean, no broken ankles on my watch. That's all I have to say. You know, if you explain, you know, jewelry can be grabbed by an infant, you're gonna feel some type of way when you're when you're wearing them chandelier earrings and that toddler is playing with you, and next thing you know, they just grab that earring right out your ear, and now you're claiming workers' comp because you came not prepared. But see, the difference is, see how I I you see how I explained all of that? But see, now if the explanation is, you know, we just don't want that image, that's not the image we want. Okay, now we need to have a conversation because image can become a very convenient place for bias to hide. Here's where I think ECE gets professionalism backwards. We'll write somebody up because her shirt isn't tucked in. Meanwhile, you know, Miss Brenda's been screaming, sit down and don't move across the preschool classroom since 742 this morning. But thank God she's wearing khakis. Priorities, people, priorities. And I don't care how professional your polo shirt looks if you're disrespectful to families, you're consistently late, you're on your phone, you don't supervise children, you gossip about co-workers, I don't care how your shirt looks when you speak harshly to children and you refuse to coach. I'm just saying that's unprofessional. Professionalism should include, you know, competence, ethics, reliability, communication, judgment, accountability, continuous learning. Clothing is one small component. We've made it into the easiest component to police because it's visible. You can see somebody's bonnet, you can't immediately see their poor judgment. And poor judgment will hurt your program a whole lot faster than somebody's hairstyle. And this is the uncomfortable part, particularly in black professional spaces. There's a historical survival strategy that says we have to be twice as good. Many black professionals grew up hearing, you know, dress better, speak better, work harder, don't give anybody a reason to judge you. And I understand where that comes from. Trust me, I do. Because it comes out of survival. But then we also have to ask, are we preparing people to navigate bias, or are we accidentally teaching them that they're responsible for preventing other people's bias? Because I can wear the nicest suit in America and racism can still recognize me. You know, racism apparently has excellent eyesight. So here's my challenge for ECE leaders. Pull out your employee handbook, look at your dress code policy. For every rule, ask why does this rule exist? Safety? Keep it. Sanitation, definitely keep it. Appropriate interaction with children, keep it. Clear professional expectation, explain it. But if the answer is, you know, we've just always done it this way, that's not that's not rational. That's a tradition. And traditions can sometimes contain bias. You know, I don't think professionalism should disappear. I I'm definitely not saying that. And I get it. You may want to exude a certain look and a certain way of being, and I totally get that. And sometimes I just say, you know what, this is your business, and this is how you want it, and then that's just how you want it, and maybe it's for me, and maybe it's not. Maybe I need to go find alternative work somewhere else, and that's fine. That is fine because everything ain't made for everybody. But I actually I think ECE desperately needs greater professionalism. I'm never gonna say that it doesn't, but professionalism should mean better education, training, better leadership, better compensation, better judgment, better working conditions, and accountability, not just simply better outfits. Because if somebody is phenomenal with children, developmentally knowledgeable, reliable, ethical, responsible to families, and committed to professional growth, I'm probably not going to lose sleep because their shoes weren't giving, you know, corporate America fall collection. Moving right along, it is time for asking for a friend.

Why Childcare Staff Get Fired Fast

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Here is today's question. Why do daycares fire a lot? Is it just me or does it actually seem like that? I feel like you can literally be fired for any reason quickly in childcare. Not being unionized definitely doesn't help. Oh lady, it is definitely not you. Because childcare employment sometimes feel like, you know, less than a career and more like a reality competition show. But here's part of the problem. A lot of childcare centers operate with policies that sound very clear on paper. You know, employees must demonstrate professionalism. Okay, but what does that mean? Don't be late, don't call out, don't complain, don't sit down, don't look tired, you know, don't look frustrated, don't ask why we're under staff, you know, don't mention ratios too loudly. And absolutely do not accidentally have a facial expression during a staff meeting, because somebody will write, employee appear disengaged. No, Brenda, I was trying to figure out why six people quit yesterday. That's called critical thinking. But you know, childcare disciplinary decisions can happen ridiculously quick, especially because many childcare workers are employed at will, which generally means employers have broad discretion to terminate employees as long as they are not firing someone for an illegal reason. But workplace reality adds another layer. See, a director can decide this isn't working, and suddenly you're packing your water bottle, your emergency granola bar, the three expo markers you accidentally stole, and you know, 17 years of emotional trauma in a reusable target bag. And childcare has this strange culture where sometimes the smallest thing becomes a federal investigation. You were three minutes late. That's an attendance concern. You questioned the classroom decision, negative attitude. You told management the room was out of ratio. Now you're not a team player. You didn't smile enough during pickup. Now there's a family engagement concern. Meanwhile, somebody else has been disappearing for 45 minutes every lunch break since you know 2023, and everyone's like, oh, that's just Brenda. I guess she just has diplomatic immunity. But we're not going to sit here and go into the topic of watching other co-workers. That's another entire whole new episode. So let me jump on that union piece real quick, though, because many educators, childcare educators do not have union representation. That means there's off there often isn't another organization sitting beside you saying, now hold on, what policy did they violate? What documentation exists? What corrective actions happen? You know, because sometimes childcare disciplinary procedures are basically the director is like, we receive concerns, and then the employees like from who? And then the director's like, multiple people, and employees like what concerns? And the director's like, we can't discuss that. And then the employee goes, Well, when did this happen? And the director says something like it's been ongoing. And then the employee says, Why am I hearing about it today? And then the director brings that line, Well, we're telling you now. Excellent. That's so transparent. It's like CIA preschool division. Now, before everybody starts emailing me saying I said that childcare workers should never be fired. Now I never did say that. Let me clarify something. Some people absolutely need to be fired. They need to get all of their walk-in papers and be out the door immediately. There are situations involving supervision, safety, abuse, licensing violations, falsification of documentation, um, inappropriate conduct, serious neglect. There are some things that need to be handled immediately. And trust, I will make an example out of you real quick. So if somebody leaves 12 toddlers alone because they needed to run to the bathroom real quick, that is not workplace uh oppression. That's a licensing report. That is different. The problem is when serious safety violations and minor workplace disagreements get treated within the same level of intensity. Because forgetting to initiate, you know, initial the diaper change in log and leaving a child unattended are not the same thing. One needs to be coaching and the other needs investigation. We cannot keep managing child care like every employee mistake requires either a motivational quote or termination. There are supposed to be steps in between. I think this is why many educators feel nervous at work sometimes because when expectations aren't exactly clear, accountability feels unpredictable. Employees start thinking, can I say something? Should I report this? Should I disagree? Should I ask for help? Is asking for help going to make me look incompetent? That is not a healthy situation. And that is one thing that I definitely believe in is creating a culture where people can ask questions. See your employees should understand what you know, they should understand that with the leadership, they should get coaching, a warning, uh performance improvement plan, hell, even suspension, and then termination. And those things should not depend on whether the director had coffee that morning. Because if disciplinary policy changes depending on management's mood, you don't have a policy, you are just operating on vibes. And nobody should lose their life should lose their livelihood because the vibes are off on that Tuesday afternoon. So can child care workers sometimes feel like they're being fired quickly? Absolutely. Yes, lady, you are correct. And when you combine at-will employment, limited workers' representation, and consistent leadership, unclear policies, understaffing, and directors who learn HR from a Facebook group, you get workplace anxiety. Good childcare programs do something different. They communicate expectations, they document the concerns, they coach the staff, they apply policies consistently. And see when termination becomes necessary, employees should understand why. Because firing someone should usually be the end of a process, not the first management strategy somebody thought of. Unless, of course, you know, you leave children under attendant, you didn't like you know, falsify the documents or you know left nap time to go to Starbucks, then unfortunately, we probably need to see you in the office. And on that note, we'll be right back. Let's talk about training and professional development. And no, not the kind where everybody sits in a room, pretends to be engaged, eats the snacks, signs the sheep, and leaves doing the same thing they were doing before. That's not the goal. Through Abbreviated Learning, we provide practical training and professional development for early childhood programs, schools, and organizations that need strategies people can actually use when the meeting is over. So if your team needs more than another cute handout, book your next training with us at abbreviatedlearning.com where we know how to make the work make sense. Hey team, welcome back.

Think Before You Speak At Work

SPEAKER_00 38:51

Today's leadership advice is simple. Think before you speak. Choose the right words, speak clearly, add welcoming words to your vocabulary, and keep business conversations professional. That is really it. And that sounds incredibly basic, and yet here we are. Because somewhere right now, somebody is standing at the front desk of a child care center saying, What do you want? to a parent, a paying customer at 7 45 in the morning. Ma'am, this is not the DMV. These people are trusting us with their children, maybe sprinkling a little bit of hospitality on it. Now words matter, especially when you're working with employees, families, children, customers, basically anyone who has access to Google reviews. There's a major difference between your child was bad today and you know Jordan had a difficult time following directions during transitions today. You see how one sounds professional and the other sounds like Jordan spent the afternoon robbing liquor stores? He is four. Calm down. Good God, girl, get a grip. We need to start giving preschool behaviors like we really gotta stop giving these preschool behaviors dramatic criminal descriptions. He was out of control. Really? Like was SWAT called? Did we did we evaluate the building? Or did the child just throw a block because somebody touched the blue truck? Specific language matters because when you choose careless words, people fill in the blanks themselves. And usually they fill them in with something worse than what actually happened. Also, speak clearly. Please just speak clearly. Workplace communication should not require a decoder ring. Managers love to say things like, We just need everyone to really step it up. Okay, step what up? Attendance, lesson plans, enrollment, customer service, my blood pressure. Like be specific. And if you want classrooms cleaned before closing, here's an example. Say something like, Before leaving, please make sure tables are sanitized, toys are put away, and trash is removed. Beautiful. You see how clear that was? Everybody knows what needs to happen. Everyone knows. Instead, there are some people, some leaders communicate entirely through like vague threats. We're going to start holding people accountable. For what? Nobody knows, but apparently accountability is coming somewhere soon, possibly by email. Then, like two weeks later, somebody gets written up for a rule nobody knows existed, and the management says, We talked about this. No, you vaguely referenced it during a staff meeting while Brenda was microwaving fish in the break room. That does not count as a communication strategy. Now this part is apparently revolutionary. Use welcoming words. Good morning. Welcome. Absolutely. Let me help you. Thank you. We're glad you're here. You know, very sophisticated material. You know, you would be surprised how many places spend thousands of dollars on marketing just to have somebody at the front desk greet customers like they personally ruin their day. It's like a parent walks in for a tour. Hi, we're here for our 10 o'clock tour. And an employee says, Did somebody tell you to come? Yes, that is generally how appointments work. You do not need to throw like rose petals out and lay out the red carpet, but maybe don't make people feel like they're accidentally entered into a restricted military installation. Customer service is often not about doing something extraordinary. Sometimes it is simply the you know demonstrating that you are not irritated by another human being that entered the building. And then I'm gonna leave on this note. Finally, keep business conversations professional. Your co-workers are coworkers. Your families are families, your customers, guests are customers. Everybody does not need access to every thought traveling through your brain. You should not be telling parents, honestly, I don't know what management is doing around here. Even if you also would like to know what management is doing around here, especially if you are the management, that was an inside thought. And you definitely should not be standing around the front desk saying, Girl, Brenda called out again. I already knew she was going to call out because her boyfriend posted they were at the club until two in the morning, and like meanwhile, Kiki's mother is standing behind you holding tuition check. Just tack it. You know, professionalism is understanding that every true statement does not need to become a public statement. Some information belongs in the staff meeting, some b you know, some information belongs in the director's office, some belongs to HR, and some belong in your group chat, you know, after work where I cannot legally advise you what to do. But before you speak at work, take about three seconds and ask yourself Is it accurate? Is it necessary? Is it professional? And would I be comfortable hearing this repeated back with my name attached to it? Because workplace conversations travel faster than a stomach bug through a toddler's classroom. See, you will say, I'm getting I'm getting a little frustrated with the schedule. By lunch, the staff didn't heard the staff is basically saying that you hate working here. By three o'clock, you're quitting. By closing, you apparently opened a competing preschool across the street. And now you're just sitting here like, damn, I just wanted Friday off. This is why words matter. Think before you speak, choose words carefully, speak clearly, be welcoming, stay professional. Because the goal should never be to have somebody leave a conversation wondering, what exactly did they mean by that? And if every staff meeting ends with three employees calling each other from the parking lot saying, Okay, so what do you think she was trying to say? Congratulations. You did not communicate, you released a workplace riddle.

“Other Duties As Assigned” Explained

SPEAKER_00 44:56

We are finally at policy time, and remember, something became a policy cause someone that messed this shit up for all of us. Today's policy is job duties. Today's policy is one of my favorites because it starts off sounding completely reasonable and then slowly turns into basically we can have you doing anything. Now, the handbook says during your introductory period, your supervisor will explain your job responsibilities and performance standards. You'll receive a job description. Wonderful, fantastic. Look at us being organized. You get a job description, your supervisor explains what you're supposed to be doing, everybody knows their role. And then here comes the plot twist. Somewhere in your job description it says other duties as assigned. Those four words have destroyed more workplace peace than almost anything else ever written. Other duties as assigned. That sentence is corporate witchcraft. Because technically it sounds harmless. Maybe your director says something like Can you help set up the chairs for parent night? Sure, that's reasonable. Can you help organize the supply closet? Fine. Can you cover the front desk for ten minutes? Okay, I sure can. But somehow other duties as a sign eventually becomes can you crawl underneath the sink? Something is leaking. Wait, wait, what? Excuse me? I teach phonics. I don't know anything about plumbing, and now somebody hands you a wrench like you Mario going to say Peach from Bowser again. Now, despite all of my complaining, there's actually is a legitimate reason employers include this. Facilities, especially childcare programs, change constantly. Someone's calling out, enrollment changes, a teacher quits, a field trip gets scheduled, licensing shows up, the copier decides it's had enough of capitalism, things happen. Your employer needs flexibility. They cannot write a job description containing every possible thing you might ever need to do. Otherwise, your dog your job description will be like 400 plus pages long. You know, teacher responsibilities include supervising children, preparing activities, communicating with families, you know, documenting observations, sanitizing material. You can find that on page, you know, 238. Or may occasionally be required to chase a lizard out of the toddler playground, out of the you know, page 314. You know, if the automatic toilet begins making demonic noises, employees shall immediately notify management. So yeah, you know, employers need some flexibility. The problem is when flexibility becomes job description roulette, because there's a difference between can you temporarily help us with something and congratulations, you now have three additional positions and the exact same paycheck. Those are not the same thing. See, the handbook says the company can't alter job responsibilities, adjust schedules, reassign you, transfer you, you know, assign additional responsibilities with or without notice. With or without notice. I love that's like my favorite phrase. Because nothing says workplace stability like arriving Tuesday morning and someone just says, good morning, you work somewhere else now. Imagine walking into your preschool carrying like your Starbucks theater director's like, hey, quick update. You know, nobody has ever said quick update at work and then improved your life. Quick update, we're transferring you to the toddler room. I teach pre-K, not anymore. Um, I don't even like toddlers. They'll grow on you, they literally grow on everybody. That's how children work. But you know what? Let's talk about why this paragraph probably exists. Because somewhere at some child care center, there was a Brenda. There's always a Brenda. Brenda was hired as a preschool teacher, and Brenda took the title extremely seriously. Her contract agreement said preschool teacher, and Brenda interpreted that to mean I will perform preschool teacher activities and absolutely nothing else under any circumstances. Monday morning. The director says, Brenda, could you help us carry some boxes of classroom supplies inside? Uh Brenda says, No. The director's like, you know, there's supplies for your classroom. Brenda goes, my job description does not include warehouse operations. Okay. Okay. Tuesday. The receptionist goes to lunch. The director's like, hey Brenda, could you answer that phone right there next to you as it rings? Brenda goes, Um, I have not been formally hired as a telecommunications personnel. Girl, just pick up the phone. And then we roll into Wednesday. A parent walks into the hallway looking confused and says to, you know, um, excuse me, do you know where the infant room is? And then Brenda goes, I am not authorized to provide navigational assistance. Girl, what? The room is 12 feet away, girl. You just can point to it. But Brenda will not be exploited. So then Thursday, things get even worse. A juice cup spills in Brenda's classroom. She puts an orange cone next to it and the director walks in. Brenda, why is there juice on the floor? Brenda's like, well, facilities has been notified. Facilities? Brenda, we don't even have facilities. We got Carlos. And Carlos is on lunch. Girl, if you don't grab a paper towel, no, that's janitorial work. Meanwhile, 12 preschoolers are skating through apple juice like Disney on ice. One child is falling twice, another child is yelling, we and Brenda is standing there protecting the boundaries of her job description. And see, Friday is where Brenda becomes a legend. See, the fire alarm starts beeping. Not the full alarm, just that annoying little battery chirp. We all know what that one is. The beep. And so everybody hears it beep. You know, the director's like, Brenda, can you tell me which smoke detector is chirping? Brenda's like, I am not certified in fire suppression systems. Nobody asked you to dismantle the sprinkler system, Brenda. Nobody did. Just listen. But Brenda refuses. And now the entire building spends 20 minutes walking around like detective. Beep! Was it over there? Beep. No, I think it's in this hallway. Beep. Meanwhile, Brenda is calmly laminating apples. Because laminating apples? Preschool teacher's responsibility. Identifying a beeping smoke detector? Absolutely not. Then comes the moment the handbook was rewritten. See, the director tells Brenda, Tomorrow is our family event. We need everyone to help set up tables. Brenda pulls out her printed job description, and I mean she has that sucker highlighted, tabbed, annotated, probably notarized. She says, Please indicate where table setup appears in my assigned responsibilities. And the director stares at her, and Brenda stares back at her, and then a tumbleweed blows through the lobby. And then somewhere in corporate HR, a policy writer wakes up from the dead, dead from their sleep, grabs a live laptop, and types, the company reserves the right at any time, with or without notice to assign additional job responsibilities. Because Brenda has pushed them way too far. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how policies are born. But let's talk about the other side of this. Managers cannot use his policy as an excuse to operate completely recklessly. Because some supervisors read job responsibilities may change and think that when management no longer needs a plan, uh no. You still need to communicate, you still need to train people, you still need to make employees qualify for what you're asking them to do, especially in childcare. You cannot say other duties as assigned, go drive the bus. Do they even have the right do they have the right license? Do they even have a license? You know, other duties as assigned. No, go prepare medication. Are they trained? Other duties as assigned, probably not. Go supervise 37 toddlers by yourself. Absolutely not. And licensing with like a word. Flexibility does not cancel competence. And other duties as assigned does not mean whatever random ideas enter my head. Leadership still requires judgment. If you are constantly changing somebody's schedule, responsibilities, classrooms, position, workload, you probably don't have a flexible workforce. You have a staffing problem. I just want to put that out there. So when you see this policy, understand what it really means. Your job description establishes your primary responsibilities, but workplaces evolve. Things happen. You may occasionally need to help outside of your normal routine, which is reasonable. The issue is whether are those changes, you know, temporary, are they appropriate, safe, and actually related to the operating of the facility? Because there's a huge difference between can you help decorate for graduation and well, since you're already here, can you repair the air conditioner? Absolutely not. I barely understand the thermostat. And if you see me on the roof holding a HVAC manual, just know leadership has officially failed.

Childcare Costs And Policy Headlines

SPEAKER_00 54:21

I want to close out with a few noteworthy ECE highlights from the past week. Americans say childcare is part of the affordability crisis. A new national poll found that 82% of voters say childcare costs are a part of the affordability crisis, while nearly half of working parents say childcare problems affect their ability to work. Why ECE cares? Because childcare is increasingly being treated as an economic issue, not simply a family issue. Apparently, childcare has efficiently joined housing and groceries in the category of things America needs, but increasingly cannot afford. So we'll take it. Average childcare costs in the state exceed $16,000 per year. Why do we care in ECE? Subsidies don't help families if thousands of eligible children are sitting on a wait list. You know, we have child care assistance, fantastic. You just might get it sometime around your child's high school graduation. Our third one: six states put more money into child care. I love these stories. So California, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, and Virginia recently approved budgets investments aimed at expanding access to child care and early learning. Why do we care in ECE? Because states are increasingly recognizing that childcare shortages affect workforce participation, employers, and local economies, not just families. Six states have found money for early childhood, so everybody remain calm. Apparently, it can actually be done. You know, number four, state lawmakers released a bipartisan child care framework. A bipartisan group of state legislators working through the National Conference of State Legislators developed recommendations for strengthening childcare systems, highlighting growing agreement across political parties that the current system needs reform. Why do we care in ECE? Because childcare may be becoming one of the few policy issues that Republicans and Democrats can agree on. And that lets you know it's a serious problem. When both political parties look at childcare and say, Yeah, this isn't working, that probably is telling us something. And then finally, Nebraska highlights the real economic cost of childcare crisis. So a Nebraska report found childcare problems are costing the state's economy nearly $2 billion annually. One family reported spending more than twice as mortgage payments on childcare. Why do we care in ECE? Because that's ridiculous. Providers aren't necessarily charging too much. Care is expensive to provide while educators are still underpaid. That's the contradiction at the center of the ECE business model. Parents can't afford child care, teachers can't afford to work in childcare, and centers can't afford to provide child care. Welcome back to early childhood education where nothing makes sense.

Final Reminder And Sign-Off

SPEAKER_00 57:48

Well, that's all that I have for you this week. Remember to think before you speak because once those words leave your mouth, HR cannot put them back in. And I'll talk to y'all later. Bye. This has been another episode of Stumbling Through Work where educators figure shit out. If this episode entertained, educated, or inspired you, go ahead and subscribe and share with others. I'm Dr. Jarek Huff. Catch you next time, Stumbling, but still showing up.