Career Corner: The Real Signs It’s Time To Quit Your Job

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Transcript

The Question Nobody Wants To Ask

SPEAKER_00 0:06

Welcome to Stumbling Through Work, where educators figure shit out. I'm your host, Dr. Jared Cuff, and this is the place where we try to make sense of the good, confusing, and completely unnecessary. One workday at a time. Let's get into it. Hey team, welcome to Stumbling Through Work. This is Career Corner with me, Dr. Jared Cuff, where we talk about career, leadership, workplace chaos, and all the little red flags we ignore it because we have bills, benefits, and a questionable amount of hope. If you're listening to this on the podcast, this episode is a visual on YouTube as well, so you can check it out there too. Today we're talking about a big one. How do you know when it's time to leave your job? Not because you had one rough Monday, because let's be honest, Mondays have been disrespectful since the beginning of time. I'm talking about when the job no longer is challenging, when it's draining, when it's shrinking you. It's making you question your purpose, your patience, and whether that per my last email should be classified as workplace violence. So today, we're breaking this into three parts. Part one, when the job no longer fits. Part two, when the workplace starts costing you too much, and part three, how to leave with a plan instead of a dramatic exit scene. Because leaving a job can be wise, but leaving without a plan, that's when life starts adding side quests you didn't ask for. Part

When The Job No Longer Fits

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one, the first sign it might be time to leave is that the job no longer fits who you are or where you're trying to go. And this one is hard because sometimes the job is not terrible. Sometimes your boss is fine, your co-workers are fine, the work is fine, the office snacks are questionable, but survivable. But deep down, you know you've outgrown the role. You're not being challenged anymore. You're not learning, you're not building new skills, you are just repeating the same task, attending the same meetings and watching the same problems walk into the room wearing a different outfit. At some point, you have to ask yourself, am I growing here or am I just being comfortable being unfulfilled? Because comfort can be sneaky. Comfort will have you staying in a job for years just because you know where everything is, who to avoid and which meetings could have been in an email. But comfort is not the same as alignment. A job that fits you five years ago may not fit you now. That doesn't mean you're not, you know, that doesn't mean you are ungrateful, it just means you've grown. And let's be honest, sometimes we stay because we feel loyal. We think, you know, they gave me a chance, they've been good to me. I don't want to let anyone down, and that's real. But loyalty should not require you to stop developing. You can be grateful for an opportunity and still know it's time to move on. You can respect what a job taught you and still admit that the season is over. The problem is that a lot of workplaces want your loyalty, but they don't always offer room to grow in return. They say, We see leadership potential in you, but somehow that potential never comes with a promotion or a raise or a title change or actual decision-making power. Just more responsibility. And let's be clear: more work is not the same as growth. More stress is not a leadership development plan. Other duties as a sign is not a career pathway, it's a trapdoor with bullet points. So, one major sign it may be time for you to leave is when you've outgrown the position and there is no real path forward, no new challenge, no advancement, no mentoring, no skill building, no meaningful change, just vibes, and another staff meeting. And if every day feels like a rerun of a show you didn't enjoy the first time, your career might be trying to tell you something.

When Work Costs Your Well-Being

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So part one is about the fit, but part two is about cost because sometimes the problem is not just the job no longer fits, sometimes the job actively is taking too much from you. Part two, when the workplace starts costing you too much. The second sign it may be time to leave is when the workplace is starting to cost you too much. And I don't mean money, I mean your peace, your confidence, your health, your energy, your values, your ability to enjoy your life after 5 p.m. Every job has stress. That is normal. Even good jobs have hard days, even dream jobs come with emails, deadlines, difficult people, and at least one meeting where everyone talks for 45 minutes and somehow no decision is made. But there's a difference. The difference between normal work stress and a job that is damaging your well-being. You see, a normal stress is like this. The week is busy. But see, a problem is I feel sick every Sunday night because I have to go to work. A normal stress is this project is difficult. But see, a problem is this place makes me feel small, anxious, angry, exhausting every single day. Normal stress? I need a break. A problem is I no longer recognize myself. You see, that's when you need to start paying attention because your body will often know before your brain can actually admit it. You might notice you are more irritable, you might be sleeping poorly, you might dread checking your email, you might be venting constantly, you might feel numb, you might be emotionally drained before the day even starts. And yes, a paycheck matters. We're not gonna lie about that because rent is real, groceries are disrespectful, gas prices continue to act like they don't have home training. So I'm not saying quit impulsively. I'm definitely not saying that. But what I am saying is you need to ask, what is this job costing me? Because if the paycheck is coming in, but your health, peace, and confidence are leaving out the back door, that is not a fair exchange. Another cost to look at is your values. This is when the organization says one thing, but see, it does another. Because the website says we value people, but the staff are burned out, they're unpaid, they're ignored, and they're treated like replaceable office supplies. Now the handbook says we believe in communication, but see, leadership only communicates after something has already caught fire. Now the mission statement says, excellent, but the daily practice says just survive until Friday. That kind of mismatch wears you down because it puts you in a position whether you're either you have to keep speaking up, you have to keep staying silent, or keep pretending not to notice. And all three are exhausting. If your values no longer align with the organization, that matters, especially if you're being asked to support decisions, policies, or practices that you don't even believe in. Sometimes people stay too long because they keep hoping leadership will change, and sometimes leadership does not. But sometimes leadership has been shown the problem, emailed the problem, invited to a meeting about the problem, given a damn spreadsheet about the problem, and still respond with, we'll circle back. No, we will not. The circle is tied. Leadership is another major reason people leave. People cannot survive. I mean, people can survive hard work when leadership is honest, fair, supportive, and clear. But see, when leadership is confusing, dismissive, you know, avoidant, toxic, and allergic to accountability, the job becomes heavier than it needs to be. And see, here's the thing: people do not usually leave because of one bad day. No, no, no, no, no, no. They leave because of patterns. Patterns are being ignored, patterns of being overworked, patterns of being underpaid, patterns of being disrespected, patterns of being asked for feedback and then punished for being honest, patterns of being told we're family right before being treated like a distant cousin nobody likes. So if you are seeing a pattern, stop explaining it away. One bad day is a bad day. A bad pattern is data. The data deserves a decision. Now,

Values Gaps And Leadership Patterns

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even when you know maybe, you know, it might be time to leave, that does not mean you should walk out tomorrow with the box of speech and a backup and a background music situation happening. That brings us to part three. The third part is making a plan. Because leaving a job is not just an emotional decision, it's a strategic one. Before you leave, ask yourself three questions. Question one: Have I tried to fix what can be fixed? Have you asked for support? Have you questioned clarity? Have you talked about growth opportunities? Have you documented concerns? Have you looked for intentional options? Have you had the conversation you need to have? Sometimes a job can be improved, but sometimes you've already had the conversation several times with bullet points in a calm tone, with follow-up emails, maybe even a chart, and nothing changed. At that point, you have to stop asking, did I explain it well enough? Oh, they understood. They just chose not to act. So, question number two What did I need before I leave? Or excuse me, what do I need before I leave? This is where we get practical. Update your resume, start applying, connect or reconnect with people in your network. Look at salary ranges, save money if you can, review your benefits, know your notice requirements. Collect examples of your work, write down your accomplishments while you still remember them. Because the worst time to start preparing is after you've already burned out and rage applying to jobs at midnight with one eye twitching. Do not wait until you are desperate to build options. Options give you power. Just remember that. And question three: what am I moving towards? Because this is important. Do not just run from a bad job. Move toward a better fit. Let me say that again. Do not run from a bad job. Move toward a better fit. Know what you want next. Do you want better pay, a healthier culture, remote work, more leadership opportunities, less chaos, a clearer role, a stronger mission, a manager who does not communicate exclusively through confusion and vibes. Be specific because if you do not know what you're looking for, you may leave one mess and walk directly into another mess with better branding. And we are not doing that. We are not upgrading from toxic to toxic with catered lunches. The goal is not just to escape, the goal is to choose better. So how do we know when it's time to leave your job? You know when the job no longer fits your growth. You know when the workplace is costing you too much of your peace, health, value, or confidence. And you know when staying is no longer a strategy, it's just fear with direct deposit. You do not have to quit today, but you do need to be honest today. So ask yourself, am I staying because this job still aligns with my future, or am I staying because leaving feels scary? Now that answer matters. This has been Career Corner with Dr. Jarek Huff on Stumbling Through Work where we figure out work, leadership, career chaos, one questionable decision at a time. Please like, subscribe, and send this to somebody who keeps saying I am fine while updating their resume during lunch. And remember, leaving is not always quitting. Sometimes leaving is just finally choosing yourself.

Leaving With A Realistic Plan

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Let's just be honest, leading a program or center sounds cute until the staff calls out, the goals make no sense, the policies are doing backflips, and somehow everybody is looking at you for answers. That's why I wrote The Program Leader: How to Lead, Set Goals, and Achieve Lasting Results in Your Program. This book is for directors, supervisors, coordinators, and leaders who are trying to build structure without losing their minds. We talk leadership, goal setting, systems, staff development, and how to lead with intentions, even when work is getting on your nerves. You can get your copy at abbreviatedlearning.com or just continue to do what you're doing, making no progress. It

Story Time From A Childcare Center

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is story time, and one of our listeners sent this story in. How I got fired for leaving children unsupervised. Now, before we begin, I just want to be clear that children should never be left alone. Children should always be within sight and sound of you at all times. If they are around the corner and you can't see them, then they need to get back in your graph. So here is the story. So yes, I was fired for leaving children unsupervised. Before anyone calls licensing the FBI, the Department of Education, and somebody's grandmother, let me explain what happened. I was working in a child prayer in a child care program where the staffing plan was based primarily on hope. Not ratios, not operational strategy, hope. Every morning, management would look at the schedule, see three employees assigned to care for forty children, and say, We'll make it work. Who is we? Because we usually meant me. Management would disappear into an office, close the door, and begin doing very important administrative work, like deciding what color tablecloth to use at the family picnic, while the rest of us attempted to maintain supervision, serve breakfast, clean spills, answer phones, complete incident reports, greet families, conduct bathroom breaks, and prevent children from turning the dramatic play into an underground fight club. Damn. It was a normal Tuesday. One teacher called out sick, another teacher was running late. And by running late I meant she had apparently begun walking to work from another state. Well damn. Management came into the classroom and said, We really need everyone to be flexible today. Whenever leadership tells you to be flexible, prepare to be folded into a position the human body was never designed to hold. I had a group of preschoolers, wonderful children, energetic children, children who could sense fear. There were twelve of them and every one of them had apparently consumed a large iced coffee before arriving. One child was crying because another child had looked at him. One child had removed both shoes and could not explain why. Two children were arguing over a toy that neither of them had cared about until the other child touched it. Seems to be the normal. Another child was licking the window, not looking out the window, just licking it. And the other child kept saying, Watch this, which is the official warning phrase children use immediately before doing something that will require documentation. So there I was supervising, actively supervising, scanning, counting, listening, positioning myself correctly, all the things that training tells us to do.

The “Just A Second” Trap

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Then the front office called my classroom. Can you come up here for a second? Now I should have said no. Before we even go any more into this story, the fact that they called and told you to come up to the front when they knew you were in class, but I'm gonna finish a story. I should have said, I cannot leave the room because I am responsible for twelve children. That would have been the correct answer. That would have been the professional answer. That would have been the answer given by someone whose employment was going to continue past lunchtime. Instead, I looked around and saw another employee standing near the doorway. I said, Can you watch them for a second? She said, Yeah. And that yeah destroyed my entire afternoon. Okay, pause. So the story is getting good. So they called you to come up front with no one coming back, but you just see somebody standing in the hall. Several questions, but we're gonna continue the story. Because apparently there's a difference between someone casually saying yeah and someone formally accepting responsibility for a group of children. I did not transfer the roster, I did not confirm the count, I did not explain that she was now responsible for the children. I just heard yeah, walked out and allowed confidence to take the place of communication. Why would you need to explain any of that if they knew? I mean, I'm assuming this is an employee, that they knew they were coming in the classroom. That's kind of a non-negotiable. All those things, okay, we'll continue the story. That was my mistake number one. Mistake number two was believing the front office when they said it would be only a second. And childcare, nothing takes a second. A parent question takes 15 minutes. A phone call takes 20 minutes. A quick meeting requires a PowerPoint presentation, three unrelated stories, and somebody saying before we wrap up six different times. So I walked into the office. The director asked me a question about a supply order. A supply order. I left 12 children so we could discuss construction paper, not medication, an emergency, not a fire, construction paper. Pause again. Why couldn't a director just walk down there and ask you the real quick question? But okay. She wanted to know whether I had ordered dark blue or regular blue. This is just getting more stupid as it goes on. And apparently this was a matter requiring immediate consultation because the future of the organization depended on whether our art closet contained navy or royal blue paper. While we were discussing the mini shades of blue, the employee had agreed to watch my class just walked away. She assumed I had returned. Wait, what? Wait, wait, I gotta read that again. While we were discussing the mini shades of blue, the employee who had agreed to watch my class just walked away. Where do we do that at like I want more details? Like she just sauntered away, like she just skedaddled down the hallway, like she just said, I'm out. Like maybe maybe it's in the rest of the story. She assumed I had returned. Why would she assume that you had returned? This just is not making sense to me. Okay, I had not returned. I was still being held hostage by the supply conversation. Huh. I'm really vexed. So for a brief period, the children were alone. And the children who realize there is no adult in the room do not respond by sitting quietly and reviewing classroom expectations. I'm sorry, y'all. I'm sorry. Pause. I'm still confused on the chicanery of this story. They knew no one was in your room. They called you to come, had no one step in for you, sent nobody out. You just seen miscellaneous teacher in the hallway, comes in, and then the teacher just leaves. Okay. I just want to make sure I summed up where we're at in the story. Um, they do not say, friends, our teacher appears to be temporarily unavailable. Let us remain seated and make safe choices. No, they're children. Children treat the absence of an adult like the fall of a government. Structure collapses immediately. One child begins jumping from a chair, another opens the classroom door, two children start throwing blocks, someone dumped an entire bin of plastic food on the floor, and the child who had been looking the window apparently decided it was time to expand the operations. By the time another staff member noticed, the room looked like a tiny civilization had experienced a complete breakdown of law and order. Thankfully, no child was injured. Let me say that again. Thankfully, no child was injured. Because as funny as workplace stories become after enough time has passed, there is nothing funny about children being left without supervision. I fullheartedly agree. Children can get hurt in seconds. They leave the room, they can choke, they climb furniture, they hit other children, they access unsafe material. A moment is enough time for a preventable incident to become a tragedy. I 1000% agree. Another teacher entered the classroom, secured the group, completed account, and immediately contacted the director. I returned a few moments. Wait, that doesn't make sense because if they contacted the director, you were in the class, you were in the office with the director, so that doesn't make any sense. I returned a few A few moments later holding a pack of construction paper like I had just completed a highly successful diplomatic mission. Wait a minute. So through all of this drama about the paper, you left with paper? But that's not what you went for. Were you on your way back when the person contacted how did they contact the director? A messenger pigeon? I got questions. Okay, anyway. The teacher looked at me. I looked at her. She said, Where were you? I said, in the office. She said, These children were alone. And I knew immediately that dark blue construction paper was no longer the biggest issue facing me that day. The director asked me to come back to the office again. The story's starting to piss me off. At this point, I had visited the office more times than the director had visited the classroom. She asked me what happened. I explained that I had another employee to watch the children. The other employee said she thought I had returned. The director said I had not properly transferred supervision, and she was correct. Now I will give you that. Technically, you did not sign out on the roster. No, I will give you that. You didn't handle your part. So technically, on paper, legally, it looks like you were still in the room. So the director technically is correct. Um did the center have staffing issues? Yes. Did management ask me to leave the classroom? Yes. Should another employee have walked away without confirming that I was back? Absolutely not. But was I the person assigned to those children? Yes. And that is the part that mattered. I wanted to defend myself. I wanted to explain the staffing shortage. I wanted to explain the confusion. I wanted to bring up every questionable management decision made during the previous six months. I wanted to ask why we had enough money for matching staff shirts but not enough to meet ratio. I wanted to ask why the director could interpret classroom supervision for a paper order. Oh, excuse me. I wanted to ask why the director could interrupt classroom supervision for a paper order, but suddenly became deeply passionate about policy once something went wrong. That is fair. That is a fair statement because I'm sitting here wondering the exact same thing. I had questions, many questions, but the central fact remained the same. I left the room without completing a clear and confirmed transfer of supervision. That was my decision. And in early childhood education, responsibility does not disappear because the workplace is chaotic. In fact, chaos is where the professional judgment matters most.

Getting Fired After The Incident

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The director told me the incident was a serious violation of supervision policy. She told me it could have resulted in a licensing citation, family complaints, injury, or worse, which is all technically true. Hell, sometimes you can breathe wrong and it becomes a licensing report, but I digress. Then she used the phrase every employee loves to hear. We have made the decision to end your employment effective immediately. The word we was doing a lot of work in that sentence. I'm not sure who we included. The director, human resources, the construction paper committee. She got a point. I hate when people go, well, we have decided. No, if you made that decision, if you made that choice, then you're gonna say, I have made be big about it. Stand on it ten toes down. Don't try to backscape and backpedal backwards. I'm like, well, we have decided, no, I have decided, but I'll continue the story. Um perhaps the children held a vote. Either way, I was done. They asked me to return my keys, they asked me to gather my personal belongings. You had keys to the classroom? Okay. Someone stood near the door while I packed because once you are fired from childcare, they suddenly treat you like you might steal the laminator. You know what? I've had, let me tell you, when I let somebody go, when they fire, when they're done, when they've gone to get their pink slips, what I do is watch them from the time I told them, I follow them all the way back to the classroom. I watch them get all their shit, and then I watch them leave because people can turn out. This is what happens if you don't do it. This is what I've learned. People will on the way get real ignorant on the way out. They're gonna tell everybody that they got fired for another reason that they were actually fired for. So-and-so just didn't like me. You know, Dr. Jarek just didn't like me. He just had an attitude with me. Or they're gonna start telling stuff to the kids. Now tell your mommy that I'm fired now, and so that if she wants to see me, she can find me on Facebook. See, all kind of stuff. I don't know what you're stealing on your way out, because you know what? All them new markers that you wanted, those are mine. But you're gonna throw them in your bag and you're gonna walk out of here. No, I won't my I want my markers where they were. So you you do have to watch people out because they will steal. So, lady person, yes, you you will steal. So I packed my coffee mug, my notebook, my emergency snacks, the three pins that probably belong to the center. Case in point. Case in point. So technically I did leave with a severance package. As I walked through the building, everybody suddenly became fascinated by their work. Nobody made eye contact. People who had spent all morning complaining about management were now alphabetizing cubbies in extraordinary focus. This is the workplace for you. Everybody supports you until somebody from administration appears with the clipboard. Then the closest co-workers become a witness for the prosecution. I left embarrassed, angry, and convinced that everyone else was more responsible than I was. That feeling lasted for a while, but eventually I had to be honest. The center failed operationally, that they did. Leadership created unnecessary pressure, that they did. Communication was poor, and it was. Staffing was inadequate, I can't comment to that because I don't know. But I still made the final decision to walk out the classroom without confirming who had responsibility for the children. That part belonged to me. And that is uncomfortable, that was an uncomfortable lesson. Sometimes you can be treated unfairly and still have done things wrong. Both things can be true. That is very true. Multiple things can be true at one point. I was actually thinking that, but let's see, your workplace can be dysfunctional, your supervisor can be inconsistent, your staffing model can be ridiculous, and you can still be responsible for your own professional choices. Being overwhelmed explains a mistake, it does not erase the consequences. So, what did I learn? First,

Accountability And Supervision Lessons

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never leave children without a direct, verbal, and confirmed transfer supervision. Do not point vaguely towards the classroom and say, Can you keep an eye on them? We are not watching somebody's purse at the airport. That is very true. Um, you need to clearly state you are now responsible for these 12 children. Here's the roster. The current count is 12. I will tell you when I return. I mean, do you really need to say when you return? Isn't it kind of obvious when the human body walks into the human classroom? And the other person needs to confirm it. Second, count children before leaving, during transitions, and when returning. Count them like your employment depends on it. I mean, I don't understand what that has to do with the story, but that is true. You should always know how many children you have at all times because they're not cattle. They are human beings, they are people, and you should know who is in your stewardship at all times. Third, do not allow administrators to pressure you into violating safety procedures. Very true. If the office calls and says, Can you come here for a second? The answer is I can come when qualified coverage arrives. Not someone walking past the room, not the cook carrying a box, but call qualified coverage. And finally, when you make a serious mistake, take accountability before building your defense. You know what? I agree with that 1,000%. And I'm very, very um proud of this person because they owned their shit and hopefully they moved on. You know, there was no, well, because of this, they didn't justify it, they explained it, she owned it, and it is what it is. But there's a lot of problematic things in here. I want to know where this place is located because why would they call you when you don't have cover? Like none of this made sense. And my next thing, and you probably uh you may know and you may not know, but what happened with whoever was watching the room? See, if they're gonna let you go, they need to let that person go as well. And who was this other teacher that came in the room? I have more questions to the story, but sadly you're unemployed. But I mean, you've learned a lesson moving forward to never happen again at your next job. I feel that you were almost kind of set up in a way. That's kind of sad to say, but I mean, they got you, they must have wanted your ass gone. That's what this story sounds like. They just looking for a reason to get rid of you, probably because of that construction paper, because you was in there stealing construction paper that you was taking out with them three pins. See, that's why they had to watch you and make sure you left the building because they knew you was going to take that royal blue paper with you. I'm just saying. But sadly, you know, professional mistakes turn into life lessons sometimes, and this was just one of them. So um just remember to uh never leave your classroom, you know, never leave your classroom not supervised. That's always a no-no. Supervision is always the number one thing, and make sure that you sign out on your roster and the other person signs in, and you go through the process of counting your children, making sure that you have them all, and the other person signs off on them because at the end of the day, you are legally responsible because you are the one on that roster. If something ever was to happen, that is who was held accountable. So always look out for yourself first. That's a lesson that I give everyone. Look out for yourself first, then everyone else comes second. And other

Final Takeaways And Subscribe

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than that, I want to thank you all for this um fun story with me today, and I will talk to y'all later. Alright, bye. This has been another episode of Stumbling Through Work where educators figure shit out. If this episode entertained, educated, or inspired you, go ahead and subscribe and share with others. I'm Dr. Jarek Huff. Catch you next time, Stumbling, but still showing up.