Stumbling Through Work
Working in education is to stumble through your everyday! We love what we do, but staff, families, policies, regulations and sometimes even the children make us quit everyday then come back the next day. Just remember, you are not in this alone.
Stumbling Through Work
When New Hires Ghost: Tales of Professional Disappearing Acts
Have you ever spent weeks interviewing candidates, finally found "the one," only to have them quit within 24 hours? How do you stand firm on your planned departure date when a director tries to guilt you into staying? Share your own workplace disappearing act stories with us – we know you've got them!
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Welcome to Stumbling Through Work, where educators figure shit out. I'm your host, jarek Huff, and I'm here to explore and share the complexities of our work, and let you know you are not alone. Before we start, though, please follow this podcast and share episodes with others. You can find me on my website, wwwjarekhuffcom, where you can find links to my social media and where I share information and tips for educators. Now let's jump into today's episode. Hey team, welcome to another episode of Stumbling Through Work where educators figure shit out.
Speaker 1:Today, I wanted to talk to you about something that happened to us a couple weeks ago probably about two weeks ago and after it happened, I did a little bit of reading, seeing some articles on it, just because it was funny, and I said let me bring this to the team and see how they feel. How do you all feel about people that get hired, start a job and then quit all within 24 hours? To me, it's asinine, it doesn't make any sense, but so let me explain to you all what happened. So we hired a manager, and I don't know if we even hired her. I felt like she pressured us into hiring her because she found me, sent me, um, a facebook message, which I was like, okay, and I'm, I want to apply for the job, so and forth, I might want imply on the indeed ad. So she goes, indeed, I see it. I see her name goes by. And then she messaged me again and she's like, oh, I applied. I was like, well, you need to reach out to our district manager. So I sent out that message. I said here's the message, you know, here's her email, give it out to her.
Speaker 1:And she went and harassed her. Then, after she harassed her, she messaged me back again. I'm like, damn, like you want a job, like you want to work. She's like I just want to let you know that I out to her. I'm just like, oh, okay, like, why are you? Why are you giving me step by step? I I don't quite understand. And then, what made it? Otter, otter, is that even a word? Otter, artist, otter, what it's like I'm saying otter. What made it stranger was the messages were coming 10, 30 at night, 11 o'clock. I'm like, oh my gosh, like this woman wants a job.
Speaker 1:So, after she didn't haunted us down, my district manager interviewed her, enjoyed her, said she would be great for the job. She offered her the job two weeks out, gave her two weeks out. She came in, did her paperwork super excited. Left on a Friday. She did the paperwork. Came in on a Monday super excited, introduced herself to everyone Hi, I'm so-and-so, and she's going around, she's introducing herself to all the families. I am so-and-so and I'm. All these great things. I'm excited for you all. And then Tuesday morning we get a message I'm not coming in, I'm taking a job somewhere else.
Speaker 1:Girl, help me understand what was the purpose of all of this? I don't think it's just the fact that you quit, it's the fact that you haunted us down, not hunted. She haunted me. This woman haunted me. I was dreaming about her because she was getting on my nerves. She haunted us into hiring her.
Speaker 1:And the thing that bothered me the most about it is there were other applicants that we had interviewed and were like, oh, they might be good but we passed on them for her and it was just kind of a complete waste of time. I feel like that's a thing that's going around. That's happening a lot. I can even say we are notorious for people doing the infamous going to lunch and not coming back. This is one lady yeah, this is one lady. We hired brand new. She was a teacher and I just happened to be at the school that day. We put her in a classroom, not by herself, we had her in there with another manager. I think it was only like eight kids in there with her and a manager training her. So we're making sure she was getting the best training possible. She was getting thorough training. She was getting correct right from the horse's mouth goes to lunch and we ain't never see her again, y'all. Now here's.
Speaker 1:The funny thing about the situation is because you know we kept calling like is she okay? Is she okay? Like what's happened? I'm like, girl, you could be dead in the ditch somewhere. I just want to make sure. Eventually we found out that hold on, let me rewind before I tell you that part of the story.
Speaker 1:I can't remember how we figured out she quit. Maybe it was a text she texted me, I don't remember. But we ended up knowing she's quit. She ended up quitting. But come to find out, I was at a meeting and somehow her name came up in a meeting. I was with other colleagues and they were like, oh yeah, she's known for just leaving jobs. I'm like, damn, this is what we do. She's out here just quitting.
Speaker 1:Left and right they're like oh, so and so, and some of them are like, yeah, sometimes she even killed her daddy off, damn, and she's killing her daddy. That ain't right now. I don't wish death on nobody and I don't want to say I hope the man is dead, but I hope he's dead, because if he's alive I don't want you wishing death on him, but if he's dead I guess it's all right to play up somebody's death. I don't know me. I'm, I'm not about to make lies. I'm just gonna straight up say I don't want to be here. But yeah, come to find out, she's killed her daddy off several times in different organizations and different schools. Know that. And I was like, wow, we need to talk more because this woman is getting around and she didn't kill her. Poor daddy. Poor daddy, like I said, I hope he in a grave already. But you know it's a waste of time to me to start a job and to quit now.
Speaker 1:I can see if something terrible happened. And you know with you know with homegirl that you know came and left and sent the message the next day. I'm like, well, how was her day? Everybody was like it was great, she was bubbly, she was talking with everybody. She was like I can't wait to see y'all tomorrow. So I'm like, damn, what happened? Did somebody meet her in the parking lot? Like what happened? Because everyone was just like she. Everybody was just confused. They were flabbergasted because they just could not understand what happened that quickly. Same thing with homie that went to lunch. But the sad thing is that we've had that happen multiple times and I'm like are are people scared of us?
Speaker 1:But I think sometimes, when people want you to actually do the job and actually want you to work and be engaged, they say, listen, I ain't doing this shit today. They're like, oh, you actually actually, you're actually asking me to be aware of what's going on. Now I ain't about to do all that shit. I'm pretty sure that's what they're saying or how they're feeling. But please, if you all are any of those people, don't take a job and then quit immediately. I mean, I try to be professional and do the two week thing at least. Because they could, they stopped interviewing there are other people that they passed on for you to have that job and then for you to say, no, it was a waste of everybody's time. Now you probably don't care. There are you just to say no, it was a waste of everybody's time. Now you probably don't care.
Speaker 1:There are some people that say, not my problem, that's for you to deal with, and I get that. And if it's a situation where I can see if something bad happens, something negative, something rubs you the wrong way, that I totally would understand. But when nothing happened and you just say f, it doesn't quite make make sense to me. But I don't know. But on that note, we'll be right back. We all want our schools or programs to be the best and although every school is different, all successful programs have the same fundamentals. Best practices for high quality preschool, afterschool andment Programs by Jarek Huff share standards to foster a high-quality program. These tips will help you put your best service forward, focusing on your children, families and communities. Best Practices for High-Quality Preschool, afterschool and Enrichment Programs by Jarek Huff is available on Amazon and Amazon Kindle.
Speaker 1:Okay, we are back with our director questions. This one is how to tell my director. I can't stay longer. Long story short, I told the director and owner a month ago, in July, that I will be looking for other jobs July that I will be looking for other jobs. Roughly a week and a half ago I put in my notice I was leaving September 2nd, giving her 2.5 weeks notice. To be exact, on Friday the owner texted me while I was off asking if I could push out my start date so they can fill my position. Meanwhile I have not seen her take one interview since.
Speaker 1:I told her she's turned people away as well. She doesn't want to go back in her pre-K classroom. She offered to match what the other company was paying me. I told her I would speak to her on Monday in person. I don't really know what to tell her. Not only does she not want to go into her classroom to relieve some of the understaffing issues, she kept enrolling kids.
Speaker 1:Knowing we are short staffed, I'm also a third person to leave this year, which actually isn't bad. I do not want to work for these admin anymore. They made up lies about me and made everything in the past month so extremely difficult. These and among many other reasons, not only can I not do that for my own mental health reasons. The new center is starting Sorry her, she has typos. The new center I'm starting at all is opening a new room and they need me to be there to open the infant room for the academic year, they will have to turn kids away. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How do I tell my director tomorrow? I cannot push the date out without being confrontational. I've never had to navigate this kind of conversation.
Speaker 1:Dear lady, first off let me rewind because something was odd to me. Um, she offered to match with oh, so I guess you told them that you had the other company, which okay. And then I told her I would speak to her on monday. I didn't know the only reason why she wanted to go into the classroom to read some understaffing issues. Okay, something about the enrollment, something about your. Your statement is kind of throwing me off a little bit. But To sum it up, I would say hey, before I leave on September 2nd, is there anything else you need me to do? See how I did that? I'm confirming my last day and then I'm also being helpful. Oh, I know what I was going to say. It was something about the lies. I feel like she was just giving me a lot of information that I kind of want to know a little more about. But yeah, that's how I would do it. I would just pull a hey, just reminding you guys, my last day is on September 2nd, because it is not your responsibility to staff for that building. That is what the admin is there for now.
Speaker 1:Just because you have not seen her interview does not mean that she has not interviewed. You just can't go on and try to make those problems yours, because you don't know everything that's happening in the background. You may have seen her turn people away. I turned someone away from an interview the other day because she walked in and my first thing I said to her was I'm going to be honest with you. I'm actually not going to interview you because for the job that we're requesting requires a certain decorum and you did not come professionally dressed for that. So I don't want to waste your time. So I am just going to say that we are not going to hire, we are not going to interview you for this position. And she kind of looked at me a little crazy and walked off. But it could have been a situation like that. Um, who knows? I don't know, but you can't assume that. But I would just confirm that my last day is September 2nd. They can't make you stay any longer. It is what it is, girl. Move on and do what you got to do? Next question is I'm about to go up against the school Karens.
Speaker 1:Our classroom just switched over and we've got our new groups. There are three boys in this class who respond to every perceived issue or conflict with another child with aggression and not just swats, punches, pinches, shoving into the walls or ground Like dang. These children are neurotypical. As far as I know, it's been kind of accepted that this is, that these boys are rough. Boys will be boys situation. Before I even continue reading the rest of this, I'm already in disagreeance. But okay, let me prepare myself.
Speaker 1:Due to a last minute staffing change, the teacher they had last year moved up to my room with them. She is a good teacher and we work together well, but her attempts have not stopped the aggressive behavior. Their mothers, in addition to enabling the behavior by framing it as responses to things other children are doing, are notorious for making big stinks about things they don't like. They brigade with other parents calling our corporate office, demanding meetings etc. With other parents calling our corporate office, demanding meetings etc. They were very pleased that the old teacher moved up with the class because they feel like she's on their side and, to be fair, she does feed into a lot of their shit. Okay, lady, I like you. We lost our director in May and so stuff like this has kind of flown under the radar. I have never tolerated violent behavior in my classroom and I don't plan to start. I know these parents are going to be very angry and uncooperative and also our new director hasn't even started yet.
Speaker 1:I'm a little nervous. Any tips for this? That's a lot to unpack. What I'm going to say is there has to be some form of administration there. I'm pretty sure the teachers aren't. To be some form of administration there. I'm pretty sure the teachers aren't just running the school by themselves. I hope the inmates aren't running the asylum by themselves, but things never. I'm surprised by nothing anymore.
Speaker 1:But what I'm going to say is what are your policies that are written for your center, and that's what I would lean on. Those are things I want to have with parents, have those type of conversations of what our policies are like. We have biting policies, we have behavior policies. We have all these policies, and I like to review them with families, hopefully, because this is the beginning of a year for you. Um, there's a back to school night, parent night, something like that, where it's a great way of going over policies at large for everyone to hear. So no one feels you know, singled out, but you know you can go over this shit and people don't pay attention. So what I like to do is pull out a policy and so when families get upset, I'm like, yeah, I'm just reviewing the policy of so-and-so, so-and-so, so-and-so, and you know you pull them in, you have meetings, you write it all out and then you sign it and then have them sign it that you went over it. So when shit goes left, no one can say, no one told me this. No, that's not how this works. Going over that policy.
Speaker 1:Now I'm very curious about the administrative thing, because that's where I really wanted to unpack how this was just going on. I mean, is the are the group of Karen's Karen ask people? Are they attacking the teachers individually? Are they attacking the admin? Is it like everybody can get it? I really want to know how this plays out. I wish I knew these people so I can ask these follow up questions. But yes, that is what I would say Stick to what your classroom procedures, your rules are your center of policies and do not fault or change on them. And our final question is am I micromanaging? Micromanaging?
Speaker 1:I was recently promoted to lead teacher and I'm really excited about the role, though I've been lying if I said I wasn't a bit nervous. I've always taken pride in being thorough and making sure things are done carefully so they don't need to be fixed later. Now that I'm responsible for guiding a team, I want to set clear expectations while also helping my assistants feel supported rather than micromanaged. Hmm, I'm before I go on, I'm trying to understand this. So, if you're a lead teacher, how many assistant teachers do you have, and are you like a team lead? I'm just trying to understand how she fits into the classroom, because it's not quite clear, but I'm going to continue. For example, I might ask for butcher paper to be laid on the tables for an activity and it ends up crumpled and messy. Or I ask for cleanup and later find crumbs left behind the area half done. I want the classroom to feel organized and well cared for, but I also want to communicate that in a positive way, without sounding nitpicky.
Speaker 1:Supervision is a huge one too. I'm very attentive when watching kids, and I'm worried about art projects, because now I won't be the one supervising, since I will be in charge of art with the kids. Girl, I'm confused on what you was asking because this was a lot. You went from supervising people to art. So you went from supervising adults to doing art, to supervision of children, to back to art. But let me try to figure out what you said.
Speaker 1:What I'm thinking is happening is maybe you are a department lead, you're like a coach for your age group is what I'm thinking and then you have other teachers and you kind of help them, is what I'm thinking. And if that's not right, then oh well, we're going to go with my scenario. Yes, you are micromanaging, but you're not at the same time, because there are expectations and your expectations should never change. If you see something in your brain, you have an image in your mind of how certain things should be done. Yes, but it's also about how you execute that. So that's something like I think what you're saying with the paper is maybe, at the end of the day, you may be giving follow-up coaching notes. Like I said, I hope that's what you're doing. You're getting coaching notes of saying you know, great job today, so blah, so blah, blah, blah. You did great on this, great supervision.
Speaker 1:But also make sure when we lay out our materials. We want to have things flat out, you know, like no crumpled butcher paper, making sure all the activities are out, things like that is how you want to say it. But if you're just jumping on them and be like girl, this paper in front of the key is too like girl. This paper is is crooked, it's all crumply, it's giving Rice Krispies, you're going to lose them and, yes, you are micromanaging. So you have to kind of find that line. But this was all over the place, girl. I kind of need to know exactly what you were saying. But find me and message me about this and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:I love sharing information with educators and program administrators. I have had so many successes, but also so many failures in my education tenure. I want leaders to know what not to do, but, better than that, what to do. So I decided to write a helpful guide Best Practices for Center Program and Activity Directors. It's short and to the point. It's a compass to guide education leaders. These best practices will give you a foundation to lead your school program or organization. You can find Best Practices for Center Program and Activity Directors by Jared Huff on Amazon or Amazon Kindle. All right, here is our interview corner for today.
Speaker 1:You asked the question do you prefer working with a team or alone? And they respond with I prefer working in a team so I can let other people do most of the work, or I like working alone, because no one can see me scrolling on my phone. Do not hire them. Do not hire them, but some of y'all will, because you hire out of desperation. The question is asking can they be successful at both? Because within our field, we work alone and we work as teams. There are going to be times where you are in your classroom. There are going to be times where you are in your school and you are alone. Teachers are alone. Administrators, I will say directors. You can be alone because you can't tell everything to your staff, so you have to keep a lot of it within you. You are going to be alone, but then you have to work as a team. Teachers you have to work with other teachers. Administration you have to work with other administrators and teachers you have to be able to do both. So can you be successful at both?
Speaker 1:I would love to hear someone in an interview say something like I enjoy both, depending on the situations. I value working independently because it allows me to focus and take ownership of my responsibilities, but at the same time, I thrive in teams because I love to collaborate and exchange ideas and learn from others. Y'all see how I did that. That's the type of shit that I want to hear in the interview. I don't want to hear someone say I like teams because if something goes wrong I can blame shit on someone else. That's the type of shit I don't want to hear. But guess what, like I said, you all will hire them, because why you hire people? Out of desperation.
Speaker 1:All right, it is policy time and remember, something became a policy because someone didn't mess this shit up for all of us. Let's talk about it Fraternization. Why is this a policy? This is a policy because Brenda is fraternizing with three parents. We're not judging Brenda, but other staff and parents do know that she's been fraternizing. That's how we're going to say it. It was real uncomfortable with one of the children's parents she fraternizing with, asking in front of another parent that she fraternizing with was she coming over tonight because she wanted to bring her Taco Bell. She wanted a Chalupa for the night. Next thing, you know, brenda's arguing with the parent one of them that she's fraternizing with. And now they're going back and forth and brenda's spilling all the tea about why she can't come over because they got bed bugs and how they all dirty over there. And now I didn't have to fire brenda because she up at the job cutting up. That's why fraternization is a thing in reality.
Speaker 1:Fraternization is a thing where you can look at it multiple ways Fraternization with families, as in romantic relationships we use the word romantic Fraternization with other colleagues. That's always drama and I have tons of stories for that. And even fraternization between administrators and staff always a little weird. But either way, technically, where I live, we cannot tell you not to do that. We just tell you that it is frowned upon. And if you are, please let us know, because I have had situations where teachers were fraternizing with parents and the end of that relationship demise very quickly.
Speaker 1:What ended up happening from that? The fallout was a parent got mad, a parent was calling licensing on the, on the parent, I mean on the teacher, the. It was a bunch of lies because we had to go through the text messages. It was a lot of drama with licensing involved and they were trying to get the police involved. But then we went through the teacher's text messages and we've seen the arguing back and forth so we kind of realized that the parent was lying. But the parent wanted to get them back.
Speaker 1:But my thing was this you worried about them, you giving me extra damn work and I won't fraternize them with you. So why I gotta deal with this shit? That's the shit that pissed me off through the whole entire thing. Go attack them with the police, leave me out, leave my company out of this shit. I was so damn mad I had to deal with that for weeks on end of having to supply the times that the teacher was there and at times that they weren't, and at times the text messages were sent and oh my god, it was so much. Do not fraternize with people. That is why these things are policy. This is why I actually had to write a policy because of this shit that happened. It was bananas, it was one of the craziest things I've ever experienced and that is a story that I will tell, but I won't tell today because that's an entire episode by itself.
Speaker 1:Well, that's all that I have for you guys today. I want you to have an amazing week and I know you will, because you will not go to lunch and not come back, you will not take a job and then quit the next day. You will not be in these streets arguing with Karens and you definitely will not be fraternizing with people down to the job. So you would definitely have a great week and, other than that, see y'all later. Bye, that's it for today. If you like this episode, it would mean so much to me if you left a rating review and subscribe to the show. Rating review and subscribe to the show. I'd love to hear from you. You can visit my website, which is in the show notes, to contact me, and I hope you have a great rest of your week and speak to you all soon.
