Stumbling Through Work
Working in education is to stumble through your everyday! We love what we do, but staff, families, policies, regulations and sometimes even the children make us quit everyday then come back the next day. Just remember, you are not in this alone.
Stumbling Through Work
Not a Felony and Parental Ambushes
A man received just one month in jail for allegedly holding down a four-year-old so another child could "retaliate" against them. From unproductive staff who waste valuable nap time scrolling on phones to the complicated dynamics when workplace relationships turn personal, the episode concludes with practical hiring advice centered on identifying candidates who can effectively prioritize tasks when faced with overwhelming workloads.
Whether you're an educator seeking solidarity in shared struggles or a parent wanting to understand the challenges faced by those caring for your children, this episode delivers unfiltered truths about what happens behind the scenes in early childhood settings.
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Welcome to Stumbling Through Work, where educators figure shit out. I'm your host, jarek Huff, and I'm here to explore and share the complexities of our work and let you know you are not alone. Before we start, though, please follow this podcast and share episodes with others. You can find me on my website, wwwjarekhuffcom, where you can find links to my social media and where I share information and tips for educators. Now let's jump into today's episode. Hey team, welcome to another episode of Stumbling Through Work where educators figure shit out. Today's news corner brings us a story from Lynchburg, virginia. When I came across this story, I had no words other than confusion. I'm not even going to read the story to you all, I'm just going to allow you to hear it.
Speaker 2:Hold on. Accused of helping to assault a four-year-old child at a Lynchburg daycare, has admitted to his role in a plea deal. Thomas Jones went before a judge in Lynchburg Juvenile and Domestic Relations Court. Today, abc 13's Bridget Kelly breaks down how much time he'll spend behind bars. Thomas Jones pleaded no contest at J&D court to contributing to the delinquency of a minor in exchange for the Commonwealth not moving forward on the assault charge. Both are misdemeanors.
Speaker 2:This stems from an incident in April at REMA's Gentle Care Child Development Center. It involved Jones and two children. According to the Commonwealth's attorney, two children were fighting and Jones held the one child so the other child could retaliate. According to DSS reports, there were other incidents of children being hit and knocked down, even putting one child in a headlock. We are unable to get information on what happened with the other cases, but Jones was only charged in connection to the April incident. The judge sentenced Jones to six months in jail, with five months suspended, so he'll spend one month in jail as long as he maintains good behavior. He also can't have contact with the child in question In Lynchburg. Bridget Kelly, abc 13 News.
Speaker 1:I think sometimes you all think I be making this shit up, but I really don't, and it was really nice to hear someone else say it because I think I think I just be in my imagination making up this shit. But what the hell is going on in Lynchburg, virginia? Aiding in the assault, like what? Ok, maybe it's a choice of words, aiding in the assault, allows me to let. You are an accomplice to another assault, but according to them, it was two children fighting, two children fighting. I have never heard of two children just straight up fighting in a preschool. Children fighting, not you know, kids hitting each other, kids pushing. Nah, I guess in lynchburg, virginia they just melee on the front lawn. I, I don't understand how two kids are fighting and then, on top of it, you give this grown-ass man an assault. Aiding in the assault, like aiding. So you're telling me this grown-ass man is aiding a child in the assault of another charge. What is going on in Lynchburg? That's why I don't live there. How were you okay? First off, who is this? Who was, who is this man? If you notice, they did not use the word teacher, instructor, director, janitor, construction worker. They didn't say who this man was. So, listening to the story it just sounds like you know. The random FedEx man came in, dropped off a package, seeing kids fighting, and said hold on, I'm gonna let you get your lick back too. What has happened? What is going on in this place? What is happening in Virginia? Who lives in Virginia, people in Virginia and Lynchburg? Can you reach out to me and tell me more about this story? Because they also said earlier incidents the fuck, what earlier incidents that happened back in April. So you're telling me that this man, this rusty, ashy, angled man, was in an incident in April and, whatever it was, obviously he doesn't work there because they just maybe he was a parent. I don't know, we don't know who he was, but you had an incident in April and you still were allowed to come around children and then you aided in the assault.
Speaker 1:When you read the article, it gets a little more in detail. There was a part of it that they left out in the news report, so I'm going to read this part to you because this part is really, really important. Reports from the Department of Social Service indicated other incidents of children being hit, knocked down and one child being put in a headlock. However, jones was only charged in connection with the april incident. Wait, what? Let's rewind.
Speaker 1:Children being hit, knocked down, which is terrible, but it's not too, not too far-fetched, but it's the headlock for me. Like what in the WWF? What is going on? And then the judge sentenced him to six months in jail with five months suspended. So you're telling me that the abuse of a child is only worth 30 days in jail, not in prison? Let's be clear in jail, then it's considered misdemeanor.
Speaker 1:Here's the weird ass thing about it. If this is considered a misdemeanor, then what the hell is a felony? Then he received two, not one, but two misdemeanors and he pled guilty. So what the hell would have happened if he didn't plead guilty? Would it even matter? Is this theatrics? Lynchburg?
Speaker 1:You need to talk to me about what is going on, because you got children in a melee Mortal Kombat style on the lawn. Then random like peekaboo people just pop in and just help with kids. I need help to understand this story. It confuses me, it makes no sense and I feel like I'll call the man, the attorney general, the um, whoever the attorney is, district attorney, I don't know wherever in the commonwealth is. All y'all need to be held accountable for this because I don't understand how you just let random men just attack children and say that they're aiding other children. The shit don't make sense. I am so confused. But on that note, we'll be right back. We all want our schools or programs to be the best and although every school is different, all successful programs have the same fundamentals. Best Practices for High-Quality Preschool, afterschool and Enrichment Programs by Jarek Huff share standards to foster a high-quality program. These tips will help you put your best service forward, focusing on your children, families and communities. Focusing on your children, families and communities. Best Practices for High-Quality Preschool, afterschool and Enrichment Programs by Jeric Huff is available on Amazon and Amazon Kindle. Okay, team, we're back Today's Reddit post.
Speaker 1:First one is what do you do during nap? At the center I work at, we sit on the floor the entire nap time, which is almost three hours long. We are allowed to be on our phone, so I either do that or read, but it's the worst part of the day for me. Most of our kids nap the entire time, but even if they do wake up, we have to keep them quiet on their cots and time goes by painfully slow. What does everyone else do during nap time? I'm not the lead, otherwise I would change the way things are done, like save the cleaning for when they are asleep. We have one person clean up while the other works, call on. Her sentence is weird. We have one person clean up while the other workers start putting kids to sleep. So it's all done. Just curious how it works.
Speaker 1:Other places this sounds like the most unproductive place that only has probably three children. That's all I can imagine. During that time is probably, in my opinion, the busiest time, one of the busiest times during the day, because you have downtime. You have time to do all the things that you don't have time to do while they're up. Wait a minute, did she just say that? Let me go back and reread this. What does everyone else do? I'm not deleted, otherwise I would change the way. Save the cleaning for when they're asleep.
Speaker 1:So you're telling me that y'all are cleaning when the kids are up. So y'all spraying bleach, y'all spraying fabulosa, y'all spraying chemical acids I don't know what else y'all spraying for reason the kids face while they're up and moving instead of interacting with the children, and then you have nothing to do. No, during nap time is when you're supposed to get all of that stuff done is when you're prepping, is when you're planning, is when you're cleaning the size of chairs because I know them, chairs is nasty. It's when you are, you know, sweeping the floor. It's when you're wiping down the windows. It's when you are planning the next day's activity or next week, or whatever it may be. Trust me, come work with me, I will put your ass to work and you're gonna hate it. Then they said you have, you can just play on your phone, like I'm. I'm paying your ass to be on the phone. Am I like, really paying you to be on the phone where y'all sit on the floor for three hours and whose nap time is three damn hours? That is a long nap time. Three hours like ours is like two, maybe two and a half ish, but three hours like that is you are literally getting paid to just sit on the floor and play with your phone, scrolling through instagram for like three hours out of your shift. Like that's crazy as hell to me. But I mean, if they like it, I don't love it.
Speaker 1:So, moving on to the next one co-workers who are friends. Have you ever worked with a co-worker who was also your friend? I'm currently working with a woman who I've known and worked with for 10 years Out of school. She is lovely and fun to be around, but in the classroom is another story. She just sits in her chair all day, is riddled with anxiety, exhibits all her narcissistic, toxic qualities gossiping, micromanaging, competitiveness, entitlement controlling, barking orders, etc. Have you ever been in a similar situation? I'm happy to say I would not be working with her next year.
Speaker 1:That's a lot to unpack. Actually, I have made friends at work, but then I haven't. At the same time, for me as a co-worker, like we're all on the same level, I have made friends because you know, you interact with people in a different way when you're just co-workers. As a teachers moving along, I have never made friends with anyone that I supervise. I can't do that. I do know people that do it and they're really good at it. Like they can decide, they can like draw a line in between work and you know, at home I can't do that, I can't. So I don't want you knowing me outside of work. So no, I have not made friends like hang out with you know, hang out with each other, probably in the last 10 years, because I can can't do that. But, as I said this was a lot to unpack.
Speaker 1:She said homie is just sitting there, riddled with anxiety, exhibits all of her narcissistic, toxic qualities, gossiping. Well, who is she gossiping with? Because you said she was sitting in a chair. So who is she gossiping with, unless you done told on yourself? She gossiping with you Because you sit there and listen, see people with, unless you done told on yourself. She gossiping with you because you sit there and listen. See people only talk to you if you listen, but see you listening. So that lets me know that you are part of the toxic environment. Micromanaging. Well, obviously she's watching you from the chair. So competitive. Now who the hell is she competitive with? She can't even get out the chair unless she's competitive with you. I, I don't know entitlement. I could see that she's sitting her ass in that chair. Controlling makes sense, barking orders, all of that right there. Just it made sense to me.
Speaker 1:But no, I am not friends with people that I supervise. Uh, and I do have friends within the field, but I know them from other places. So, no, I don't make friends. I don't want you to know me personally. I don't want you to talk about the shit that I said at home and I definitely don't want you repeating the shit that I say at home as I talk about everybody that I work with. Nah, I don't do that. I cannot blend the two together. So definitely, definitely have not done that.
Speaker 1:Next story is a child was dropped off in an empty classroom. I am a pre-K lead teacher. I am a pre-K lead teacher. Yesterday I came back from my lunch break at 1125. My classroom was completely empty as my second teacher took them all outside for recess. In the short time it took for me to get outside and switch with the teacher, one of my students was dropped off. The other teacher went inside to find the boy standing in the classroom all by himself. The assistant director stepped out of the office so no one knew he was in the building. Apparently, his dad just left him in an empty room. Luckily he was only alone for about a minute, but if the other teacher used a different door to get back in, it could have been several minutes before anyone found this kid. I felt so bad for him. The assistant director already sent out a school-wide message to parents asking them to wait until the child is seen and acknowledged by a teacher before leaving the building.
Speaker 1:I can't imagine leaving my child alone like that. I am the first one to talk about a child being left alone. To me, that's an automatic firing offense, meaning you got to go. There are no more second chances. If you left somebody's child alone, you got to go. But this is not's dad came in, dropped off their child and then proceeded to exit the building, not a okay.
Speaker 1:This is what I think happened. I have to put stuff together like judge judy. What I'm assuming happened is they walked in. I'm kind of curious on how they got in. Hopefully someone opened the door. Maybe they have one of those codes I don't believe in the codes because I feel like people can just walk in your building but I assume they walked in. The kid was running down the hallway in front of the parent, got to to the door, the kid ran in and maybe dad was like OK, he in and then just did an about face and then proceeded to chasse out the building. I'm assuming that's what happened. I hope that's what happened because I'm hoping no grown man looked in the room and said all right, you're good, although we all do know some of them parents that probably could have done that, but I'm giving benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 1:Hmm, yeah, that's what I think that happened, and I think the assistant director did do a good job at making sure to put out that entire message, because for me there's also an issue where the father, as the story in my head goes, didn't just come in to speak. So what is that personal relationship that you have with that dad that just dropped off? Maybe he don't like y'all. He said I ain't talking, I ain't talking to him today and I'm out. He like, he went in the door. He good, I don't even want to see them because they get on my nerves. It's giving that energy as well.
Speaker 1:There's a lot of bits and pieces to that story, but that's really sad because who knows what could have happened to that child in that, in that room? That's just I. I've never had that happen before. Like I said, you know if you leave a kid, but who do? Who's really accountable in this situation? Because I'm thinking if I'm child care licensing and I walk in at that time, and then I just happen to be coming around the corner and I go, bloop, there's a kid right there hanging, the facility is automatically going to be in trouble because it looks like you left a kid, but then you have to try to turn around and have that conversation that, hey, we didn't even know he was here, he's not on our roster, so hopefully that can help alleviate that situation. Yeah, that's kind of weird. That's a really, really really odd situation.
Speaker 1:Dad just don't care. How about that? Dad said I got to go Is the kid bad? Is he bad? I know people say we shouldn't say kids are bad, but we only say that around company Kids is bad. Is that kid bad? I really want to know he might be bad. See, I need more of the story. Lady, hit me up with more of the story. I want to know is the kid bad? I really want to know he might be bad. See, I need more of the story. Lady, hit me up with more of the story because I want to know is the kid bad? Does he be getting on their nerves? Does he be getting on y'all nerves? And where do the assistant directors step out to? I got more questions about this, but I kind of want to know. And why am I whispering? I don't know, because I ain't supposed to say that the kids is bad, but the kids do be bad. These kids nowadays be real bad, but we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:I love sharing information with educators and program administrators. I have had so many successes, but also so many failures in my education tenure. I want leaders to know what not to do, but better than that, what to do. So I decided to write a helpful guide Best Practices for Center Program and Activity Directors. It's short and to the point. It's a compass to guide education leaders. These best practices will give you a foundation to lead your school program or organization. You can find best practices for center program and activity directors by Jared Huff on Amazon or Amazon Kindle. Okay, team, welcome back.
Speaker 1:Let me tell you all about this parent complaint. That happened on Friday. See, I love when I can give you guys like real world context of when shit happens. So it's friday, let me rewind. So early in that day, maybe about an hour or two before that, I was talking to my district manager and I. We were talking about several complaints and this family is a little extra and she, well, I reached out to them. I'm going to call them back, but I reached out earlier. No one answered and of course I'm like did you leave a voice message? She's like no, I said we'll always leave a message, because someone can always turn around and say I haven't heard from you. You didn't call me back. Strangely enough, I said that two. So it is now. Hold on, let me pull up my email, because, yes, I got an email about this. Let me scroll down. Hold on, that's today. Let me scroll back down to friday okay, friday, friday, friday okay, here it goes.
Speaker 1:So first off, let me tell you about the complaint. The complaint was this there was marker on the child's clothes. Yes, there was a marker on the child's clothes. What ended up happening was they did a diaper change. They wrote the time on the diaper, which is an old school practice. They wrote the time on the diaper and you do that so you can ensure, like you can look back and say, okay, this child got changed at so and so time. But what ended up happening was the teacher, for some stupid reason, use a water, um, water marker, um, not a name to slip my brain y'all not a permanent marker, but, uh, what you call it marker, a washable marker. I don't know why, I couldn't get that out. So they end up using a washable marker right on the diaper. So we already know how that goes. The marker got on the child's clothes and the inside blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So that is what all of this is about, just something real simple.
Speaker 1:So I pulled up my email, so this email came at 535. So I'm still in my office, but it's 535. It's the end of the business day for me. My brain is the end of the day. It's after five o'clock and it's a friday.
Speaker 1:This is what the email said hello, I have been reaching out to the district manager with no communication back. I am currently on site and seeking to speak with someone in person that can give my husband and I clear-cut answers on what has been transpiring with our daughter. I just happened to be at my computer when it came up and I was like wait a minute, you on site. So the director was already gone for the day. I said let me figure out some stuff. I was like, okay, the director's already gone. She got there.
Speaker 1:This woman, y'all this, this mother got there at about 5 30. I'm at 4 30. She's upset about the marker. That happened several days ago. Let me rewind that this didn't happen today. This was several days ago. We've already talked about it, but she's still on one. Those miserable parents situation happened a couple days ago. We've already talked about it.
Speaker 1:I guess she wants to bring it up again because she has nothing else going on in her life and she's waiting to talk to someone I don't know. So I'm like, okay, let me ask my district manager. And she's like, yeah, I did call her and I said see, remember earlier today when I said make sure you always leave a voice message or at least send a text, because we have a work phone with work cell phone. She has a work cell phone so you can always send a text, just so that they know that you will call, because you know, know, that's what they're going to do. People, people that want to complain, are always going to complain. So she has. My district manager said well, I have to go pick up my kids, which are at that location. Now.
Speaker 1:This woman got here at 430., she sent this email at 535, to be exact, our location. That location closes at seven, so my district manager gets there at about six o'clock. Y'all know. This woman was still there and ambushed her and was like, oh, I've been waiting here since 4 30, uh, you had no meeting schedule. So she talks to the parent or whatever. She talks to the mom and they had, uh, she's like, okay, we'll reschedule, we'll schedule a meeting with the director on monday.
Speaker 1:This is the part that got me, because I get a phone, of course you know I'm messy. So I'm like, hey, how did it go? When she calls me back, she says you know this woman looked at her in her face and said well, you know us sitting here waiting my husband is late for work. Uh, no one told your ass to show up. This was not a scheduled appointment. No one told you to do this. And I was like, girl, you better than me, because I would have sent somebody else in there to get my kids because I am off work. By the way, she had been at work.
Speaker 1:She went to work that morning at 5 45 was done it, you know a little bit. After two, you know that's after an eight hour shifting. You know us in leadership, our days aren't really eight hour days, they're more like nine, ten ish. You know it is what it is. We know what we give in this field. So this is all.
Speaker 1:No, I said, lady, you didn't had a long day work and you sit here dealing with this non-emergency. No, she would not have gotten that from me, that's. This would have been a. Okay, let me give you a follow up call on monday, not being disrespectful, but no, this woman sat here and tried to ambush you because she knew she's seeing your kids still there, so she waited for you. Unacceptable my husband late for work. Girl, you weren't supposed to be here. This was not a moment for you to be here trying to set up an impromptu meeting. I like, girl, you better than me, but the things that we have to deal with on a on a daily basis and actually they just had the parent meeting and I haven't received a follow-up call, so I guess I gave you all that follow-up information of how it went, uh, next week. So hopefully I'll remember to tell you that and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1:If you're trying to tour and enroll new families or create a foundation for a high quality program or just be a better leader, the Best Practice Series books by Jarek Huff found on Amazon can help you in your program. Okay, in today's interview tip, the question is describe how you would handle a situation if you were required to finish multiple tasks by the end of the day and there was no conceivable way that you could finish them. If you ask that question during an interview and the interview responds with you know I expect my boss to give me a reasonable amount of work and recognize that all this shit can't be done in one day. If they respond like that to you, do not hire them. Do not hire them, although most of you will, because you hire out of desperation. You hire out of desperation.
Speaker 1:This is the this question. It's a is a too much to do and not enough type of time question. With this question it comes down to prioritization. That's what the question is asking. It's how do you prioritize tasks and can you prioritize tasks? When someone answers this question, you want to hear them kind of walk through their process of how they organize their tasks.
Speaker 1:It could be a position where maybe they have to delegate. So are they? You hear how they delegate work to people that they work with, the people that they may supervise. I actually had a director once that delegated so much work that she didn't do anything and in her process of doing that she actually delegated all of her work to her assistant director, which, ironically, her assistant director is now my district manager because she has moved up over the years, because she trained her assistant manager her assistant director how to do the job and then had the nerdy look confused when I went and fired her and looked at me like huh, she was so confused because she didn't understand that she delegated too much work. So this is what this question is, and not just about you know how they delegate work, but a lot of people don't really realize you know what, what actually has to be done.
Speaker 1:Everything doesn't have to be done at one time. If you try to get everything done at one time, you will be exhausted and I would just be staring at you going this ain't gonna work because you about to have a breakdown. You're gonna burn out, or you gonna have a breakdown or you're gonna shoot everybody up in here, and neither of those work for me. So that doesn't work. It's all about prioritization. If they cannot prioritize, if they do not show you that they can prioritize tasks, do not hire them. But of course you all will, because you hire out of desperation. With that being said, that is all that I have for you all today.
Speaker 1:So my tips for this week don't catch a felony charge. Oh wait a minute. If you're in Lynchburg, virginia, you don't catch felony charges. You only catch misdemeanor, so don't catch a misd. Oh wait a minute. If you're in lindsberg, virginia, you don't catch felony charges, you only catch misdemeanor. So don't catch a misdemeanor charge. But make sure your teachers are doing things and being productive through their nap time. Don't be cold. Don't be friends with your co-workers, do not be friends with your co-workers and don't allow parents to drop off kids in empty rooms and, most importantly, as always, stop hiring out of. And other than that, y'all have a good week. Bye. That's it for today. If you like this episode, it would mean so much to me if you left a rating review and subscribe to the show. I'd love to hear from you. You can visit my website, which is in the show notes, to contact me, and I hope you have a great rest of your week and speak to you all soon.
